Room 1013

None of You Are Going to Heaven

Keith got worse. So much worse.

Lance sat next to his bed and stared at his struggling chest. An oxygen mask covered his face as he squeezed his eyes shut. Every once in a while, Lance had to stop him from mutilating his skin. Keith held his stomach as he lied in a fetal position. There was nothing they could do. He was put on so much medication, but it was still painful.

Lance stood to kiss his head. He brought a hand up to hold his cheek and wipe his tears. "It's okay baby, I'm right here."

Keith whimpered and grabbed Lance's arm, hugging it to his chest. He sniffled and spoke in a strained whisper. "It hurts."

"I know, baby." Lance used his free hand to stroke his cheek. "You'll feel better soon."

Keith sobbed and looked up at him, "You mean when I'm dead?"

Lance leaned down and kissed his cheek, "Or when you get better."

"You're delusional." Keith let his head fall back onto the pillow. He stared at the wall with sunken, tired eyes. Lance could see the light in them dim right in front of him. "I'm not gonna get better."

Lance forced a smile, "Not with that attitude, you won't."

Keith clenched his jaw, "Please shut the fuck up."

"I love you."

"Shut up."

Lance leaned down to rest his head on Keith's shoulder. "I love you; and I'm taking you home when you get better."

Keith tried to shake him off, but to no avail. "You're annoying. Get off."

"No."

"Get the fuck off."

Lance lifted his head and turned around. He gently pushed Keith over and lied down next to him. Keith held Lance's arm tighter. Lance brought his hand up and held his cheek. "Do what you want, but I'm staying here."

Keith glared at him with furious eyes. "You're annoying." He dug his nails into Lance's arm and cried. His body trembled through the pain as he waited it out.

Lance allowed Keith's nails to pierce his skin and his sore teeth to chew on his sleeve. If all he could do was bear this pain, then so be it. It was better than sitting in a chair and half-heartedly telling him everything was going to be okay. Did he believe it? He did once, but seeing Keith writhing in pain as his body was being eaten alive wasn't the most hopeful situation.

But it didn't matter what he thought. Lance had a very deep belief that if Keith thought he was going to survive, then he would. None of the meds worked, the transplant didn't work, chemo didn't work. Keith's fate was all up to whatever god was watching. And if there was no god, then it was all up to him.

If Keith wanted to die, then he would. If he lost hope, he wouldn't last the night. So if telling him that everything was going to be fine helped in any way, then Lance would repeat it until the day he died.

Keith whimpered and clenched his hands down harder, breaking skin with his nails. Lance bit his lip to refrain from flinching.

Keith's eyes flickered up to him. "Sorry."

Lance shook his head, "You do whatever you need to." He wrapped his other arm around Keith's back and relaxed. "I'm here for you." He gently closed his eyes against the stinging. "And everything is gonna be okay."

Lance could feel Keith slipping away from him. Just like water jumping through your fingers, Keith's life was falling through an hourglass glued to the floor. It was torture. Lance begged for something to take his pain away. If he was to die, then he shouldn't be suffering like this. He prayed for any god to pull the trigger if it was his time.

Keith finally fell asleep around two a.m. that night. Lance stayed in the bed until three, then carefully stepped out and grabbed his jacket. He almost put it on, but decided against it and turned back around.

Lance lied his jacket over Keith's sleeping figure and kissed his bare head. He whispered to him through his sleep. "I'll be back soon. I promise."

"Hey man, what's up?"

"Isaac," Lance pushed the elevator button and stepped back to wait. "Let's meet up."

"Hmm? Now?"

Lance nodded to himself and entered the elevator when the doors opened. "Yeah. Keith's getting worse, man."

"Still?" There was a moment of shuffling. "Alright, bro. Same as usual?"

Lance hesitated. He took a moment to think, tapping his foot. "No, not this time."

"Oh, okay." Lance heard a car door shut. "So just meet up?"

Lance took a quick breath, "I mean." Keith ran through his mind. The sound of his crying echoed in his mind. "Give me anything."

"Anything?!" Isaac laughed on the other end.

Lance sighed, "I don't care man." He rubbed his face and scratched his head. "Let's get fucked up."