Room 1013

He Fights Fire

Lance took a long drag of his Marlboro, letting the smoke sting his throat. He sat out on the back porch steps in the evening sun. Ashes fell as he flicked them off his cigarette.

"I thought I would find you here."

Lance turned around to see Anabelle walking up to him. She flipped her hair over her shoulder and sat down next to him. Lance pulled the cigarette away when she reached for it, "What do you want?"

Anabelle sighed and locked her fingers around her knees. "I wanted to ask about something."

"Shoot."

"When did you know you were gay?"

"I'm not gay," Lance took a drag.

"Well," she tilted her head, "then when did you know you liked guys?"

Lance let out the smoke slowly and deliberately. He took a moment, then replied. "Looking back, I began to develop feelings for Keith when I first spent a few days at his house, but it was just because I thought he was cute. Then when I left, we talked over video chat all the time. That's when I actually had feelings for him." He took another drag, "But I didn't realize it until he kissed me."

"He kissed you?!"

"Is it that hard to believe?"

"Well," she trailed off, "I guess not." Her eyes shot back at him and she smirked, "Did ya' guys fuck?"

"First of all," he leaned back onto his hands, "None of your business. Second of all, no."

She raised her eyebrows, "Have you guys fucked?"

"No."

She scoffed, "Well, why not?!"

Lance shook his head, "It's complicated."

Anabelle sighed and leaned her head on her elbow. "It's not that complicated. You just put your dick in his-"

"Anabelle!" Lance glared at her. "Let it go."

She sat in pouting silence for a few minutes. Lance put out his cigarette and fiddled with his hair.

Anabelle raised her eyebrows, "Do you want him to put his-"

"Alright," he stood up with a grunt, "We're done here."

"Wait!" She latched onto his jeans, "I'll be serious now. I have something else I came to ask about."

Lance took a frustrated breath and sat down. "What?"

"Is he," Anabelle shifted her weight as she cut herself off. "You see, the first time I saw him was when I walked in on you guys making out. Of course I though it was a girl, but then I saw him at the dinner table." She shrugged, "I guess what I'm trying to say is: I don't really know this guy. And your coming out to me was so unexpected."

Lance lowered his eyes, "So, what does that mean?"

"I just," she trailed off. After a moment, she turned to Lance. "Why do you want to marry him? The real reason."

Lance locked eyes with her, "The full truth?"

She nodded, "One hundred percent."

Lance took a deep breath to compose himself and sort through his words. "Keith is-well, he's a special guy." A smile formed on his cheeks, "Not only is he so very cute, he's also loving and cares about me so much-probably more than I do him, if I'm being honest." Lance loosely hugged his knees, "I love him. A lot. I know that sounds naïve, but I'm not going to waste time being rational when he's already got so little."

"Hmm," she eyed him, "I guess that makes sense." She chuckled, "Should I ask how long you guys have been together?"

"No you should not," Lance laughed.

"Alright," she looked down with a smile on her face. "So what's with this medical thing?"

Lance cocked his head, "Hmm?"

"The hospital thing."

"Oh," Lance looked to the sky, "Hospice."

"Yeah, that!" She snapped her fingers playfully, "What is that?"

"Well," Lance's eyes drifted in thought, "It's what someone does when they just want to live out their life instead of fighting with treatments and doctors and stuff. Like quality of life over quantity."

"So," she trailed off, "Then what does that mean? For Keith."

"It means that instead of doing chemo and fighting his cancer, he's taking painkillers and antidepressants." Lance fiddled with his jeans. "To keep him happy until his cancer finally kills him."

Anabelle frowned, "But that's sad."

Lance took a breath and squinted, "Eh, not really." He looked at her, "He's happy. And he chose that. I'm not really sad about it."

"But that means he's gonna die."

"Everyone dies."

"But that means he's gonna die before you. Way before you."

Lance swallowed hard, "I don't want to think about that. I just want to give him everything he wants."

A hint of a smile tugged at Anabelle's face as she stood up. She brushed herself off and walked to the door. Before she opened it, she turned around. "Hey Lance?"

Lance looked back at her, "What?"

She gave him a bright smile, "You're gonna be a good husband."