Another Boy Without A Sharper Knife (Kellic)

Chapter 7

                                                                                      Vic POV

I stayed in the room for the rest of the day. No one really bothered to check on me until dinner time. The nurses did make their rounds and push the door open to make sure I was still alive though. Even Oli came in a few time but I didn't even look his way. Everything was just shit.

Thinking about Beau just tossed me over the edge and I could just feel the energy leaving me. Someone did stop by around dinner though.

"Vic?" Kellin asked, peeking in the doorway. I kept my eyes up towards the ceiling, wanting to turn invisible. Most of the time I would kill to feel less invisible but not today. "Vic, you okay?" Kellin came in and sat on the edge of my bed, making sure to shut the door lightly. I didn't want to cry, I really didn't but I could feel the sting of tears. 

As I let them slip down my face Kellin came closer, concern etched on his features. "Vic, why don't you talk to me? I'm sure I can help."

"You can help?" I pratically growled, my depression being eaten by a strong and fleeting anger. "You can't fucking help me, no one can. You can't bring him back. He was everything to me."

"I know," Kellin said calmly but I wasn't having it.

"Like hell you know! Why don't you fuck off I'm not fucking sleeping with you anyway." I knew I shouldn't have made it seem like that's what he wanted from me but I was just so mad and I was taking it out on him. It started to leave though when I saw the look of hurt on his face.

"Kellin..."

"No," he whispered, his face going emotionless. After a few seconds a smile appeared. "It's all good, I get it. Just come out when you're ready." He gave me a very fake smile to mask his hurt and got up, closing the door sofly behind him. Fuck now I feel worse.

I did get up though. I knew I needed to apoligize to Kellin so I pulled myself out of bed and headed to the tv room. Everyone had just gotten back from eating. I wasn't hungry at all, my stomach felt like it was pure acid so I doubt  I could have kept anything down anyway. 

All the guys were sitting in there waiting for the last real session of the day. Music therapy. Out of all the sessions I missed this afternoon I'm glad I decided to come to this one.

I love music as I've said before. Me and my brother Mike have been playing around with it since we were kids. We even had a little two person band. I was the singer and guitarist and he was the drummer. We were currently working on a song for Beau. We only had an opening but it sounded really promising so far.

Kellin was sitting next to Alex so I sat on his other side across from Matty. "Hey Kellin, listen I just..."

"No," he cut me off, turning away from Alex. "I get it, you were just upset. It's cool okay?" I nodded not wanting to get anymore into it. He seemed okay now as he turned  to the therapist who just entered the room. She was pretty and petite with a winning smile.

"Hey guys!" she said happily. Everyone smiled back.

"Yo Dr. Jardine," Alex said, giving her a wink. She just rolled her eyes.

"So guys, music therapy, you all know this. I do see a new face though! You must be Vic." She smiled kindly at me so I nodded, giving her an awkward wave. 

"Okay! Tonight we will be doing something new. I want each of you to work on a song. Just make it about what you're feeling. You don't have to preform them in front of everyone if you don't want to but if you do we will be doing that on Sunday and for those of you who lost track of time it is now Thursday."

It was so weird how she said it, completely serious. I guess if you've been in here awhile you could lose track of what day it is. 

"Well guys, get to work! Paper up here and I'm assuming you want Blink 182 pandora on?" A resounding mmhm was heard around the room as everyone grabbed paper. Kellin passed one to me.

"Ever write a song?" He asked, already jotting stuff down on his.

"Yeah, a few," i answered, staring blankly at my paper. He nodded absently as he continued to write. As I looked around everyone was writing. How did they come up with stuff so fast?? Feeling, What am I feeling? What could I possibly write about? 

And I could die right now for something beautiful to take me somewhere else.

I wrote it down in my messy handwriting. As of right now that's about all I've got. I tuned out and listened to the music for the next hour. Eventually, Dr. Jardine's timer went off, signalling the end of the session.

"Okay guys, keep working on these. I'll be back on Sunday so be ready!"

"So you got anything good?" Kellin asked, looking at my paper. I grabbed it quickly.

"No, you?" He nodded, giving me a cocky grin. "Yeah, i write all the time. Can you sing?" I nodded. "Going to sing on Sunday?"

"Honestly, I don't plan on still being here that long." I didn't. If it was possible I would check myself out today. I was hoping for atleast Saturday though. I could stick it out until then.

"Want to watch a movie tonight?" Alex asked me as all the guys got ready for final meeting where we talk about our day. I wasn't looking foreward to that part. I guess it wouldn't hurt hanging out with all the guys for one night.

"Sure," I nodded, seeing Kellin smile from the corner of my eye.

"As our new guest you get to choose the movie," Alex said, gesturing to the row of movies under the tv. I spotted it instantly.

"Any ideas? Pick something good!" Matty chimed in. I smiled to myself.

"Wayne's World."