Starving isn't so bad anymore (Don't Starve Together Fanfiction)

Chapter 14: Gifts

"It's not going to work." I said as I leaned against the railing of the boat.

"It'll totally work!" Webber said as he stood in front of me.

"Wigfrid doesn't like flowers as much as the average girl."

"Well what else would I give her?" 

"Hmm... Weapons... The tooth of a large animal... A limb... Maybe a food she hasn't eaten yet, we have been seeing some unique fish." 

Webber was a bit wide eyed as I went through the list of possible gifts for Wigfrid. The Arachno-sapien was rather pleased with Wigfrid's recent... 'romantic gesture'... and wanted to get the young viking a gift. And though I wanted to punch him in the face or throw him overboard for even touching Wigfrid, I decided that she was twenty-two now and he was twenty-one so they could decide what happened between them. And thus I reluctantly agreed to help him get Wigfrid a gift.

"I'm thinking any but the third one. But I'm terrible at cooking, I can't really fight, and I can only make tools or spears."

"Well... I can help you with the fighting... I can see what I remember of weapon forging from back in the day... And Warly can definitely help with cooking."

"When in the world did you learn about weapon forging?"

"My uncle worked in a blacksmithing shop. He made swords, knives, gun parts, and a few other types of weapons as well as machine parts if you paid him enough."

"... You have a very weird background..." 

"Says the spineless bipedal spider."

"Fair enough. So how do I decide which option I'll go with?"

"... Why not all three?" 

Webber looked like he was struggling to resist the urge to slap me.

"Fine... I guess she does deserve it..." Webber said as he seemed to be daydreaming. 

"And don't you forget it." I said putting a hand on his shoulder and squeezing perhaps a little too hard.

"So you want to make a nice meal for your lover?" Warly asked as Webber and I stood before him.

"Y-Yeah." Webber said with a needless stutter.

"Well I'd be happy yo help, mon ami." Warly said with a smile. "I'll just need you to fetch some things for me."

"You name it."

"I'll need a ham, a jar of honey, an egg, two slabs of monster meat, a jellyfish, and a sweet potato." Warly listed off the ingredients eagerly, clearly excited to help to young lovers.

"Monster meat? That sort of drives people insane."

"Well actually, mon ami, with the right ration and preparation it no longer effects people."

"Interesting... Maybe once we're back to the main island I'll have you teach me to cook."

"I look forward to it, messieur."

And with that we set out on our quest for the ingredients.

"Thanks for helping us with this guys." Webber said as Walani surfed past us while we manned the nets on Woodlegs' little pirate ship.

"Tis not a problem, me bucko!" Woodlegs exclaimed as we hauled the net over the side of his boat, a few jellyfish wriggling within.

"Hey dudes, there's a few boar-men on that island ahead. Just one should, like, totally be enough for one ham." Walani said as she surfed next to the ship.