Starving isn't so bad anymore (Don't Starve Together Fanfiction)

Chapter 24: Old Camp

"So, why am I doing a DNA spell on the spider?" Maxwell asked as I strapped Webber to a tree.

"Because we need to find out what percentage of Webber's DNA is human so we can know whether or not Wigfrid will be healthy during her pregnancy." I said as I finished strapping Webber to the tree.

"Oh, well why didn't you just ask? I could've just told you." 

"Excuse me?!" Webber, Wigfrid, Willow, and I said with a mix of confusion and anger.

"Maxwell... What do you mean you can just tell us?" I asked slowly, my hands shaking slightly with anger.

"Well I did make him." Maxwell said nonchalantly, mindlessly flipping through the Codex Umbra.

"Explain. Now."

"What? You didn't think he was a natural mutation did you?"

"I did!" Webber said from his tree.

"Ha! This world isn't like the normal one. It isn't governed by silly laws of physics. It's governed by magic that can be the strictest and the most lenient at different times. One of the strict parts is that besides hounds and Tallbirds nothing mutates. So after that spoil-sport original Maxwell stopped bringing people I decided to try making my own play thing. Of course I can't make a human from scratch so I just grabbed some spider and mixed it in."

"So what percentage of Webber is human?" I asked while rubbing my temple.

"Around ninety-four percent. The prototypes were seventy-six and eighty-three percent respectively. Such a horrific mess..." Maxwell finished with a distant stare.

"Yes! I passed the standard!" Webber exclaimed as Wigfrid untied him.

"That seems almost lazily easy." I said to Willow as we watched the two young adults hug. 

"I'd rather it go smoothly than have complications..." Willow responded as she took a deep inhale of her cigarette. 

"I have to agree. If anything does go wrong with this pregnancy I'm going to break every bone in Webber's body..."

"You'll have to beat me to him before I burn him alive..."

"I suppose we should go get ready for the journey." 

"Yeah..."

There was a small moment of darkness after I went through the wormhole. A familiar yet foreign feeling. A feeling I hated as it washed over me.

Then I felt the ground crash under me. I instantly recognized the feeling of the tough ground covered in half dead grass as I took a few steps. Of course this terrain only covered a small area since the wormhole was surrounded by swamp, a few tentacles slithering around beneath the mud. 

"Woah, it sure has been a while huh?" Maxwell said as he was shot out of the wormhole.

"Indeed." I responded as I threw a pebble at one of the tentacles.

"You seem a bit bummed."

"Oh no, I'm extremely ecstatic to come back to the place I had given up living." I said with a sarcastic hand gesture.

"Why can't you just feel nostalgia and be happy for once?"

"This isn't a nostalgic place, it's a bad memory. I just want to get the portal piece and get out of here."

"Well you are the one who knows this place, so you're going to have to show us around." Willow said as she climbed off the ground, having been thrown to the ground after coming through the wormhole.