Destiel Oneshots

I'm poison

Cas's Pov
I was pulled out of my sleep by a noise. I sit up listening for a minute for a minute trying to see what it was. I hear a scream. It was Dean. I quickly get out of bed and run to his room. Dean screams again before I get to his room. I slam open the door only to find Dean laying in bed thrashing around. He was whimpering and saying things and he sounded scared. I recognized this as a nightmare. I used to get those a lot when I was first turned human. I walk over to Dean and sit down on the bed next to them. I watch him for a moment before he emits another scream. I jump back scared for a second before rushing to his side again. "Dean! Wake up. You are having a nightmare" I say putting my hand on his shoulder. He flinches but doesn't wake up. "Dean!" I say more forcefully, "Wake up. You are not in danger" I say shaking him. He still doesn't wake up but is moving a lot. "DEAN" I yell "Wake up!" Dean's eyes fly open and he sits up looking around frantically. "Cas" he ask in the midst of his panic. "Hey I'm right here" I say getting his attention. He looks over at me, fear evident in his eyes. "Dean, look at me. I'm not going to hurt you. I just want to help you" I say. He slowly nods and calms down a little. I reach toward him and pull Dean into my lap. If I did this any other time Dean would push me away but now he was just too shaken up to care. "Do you want to talk about your dream" I ask. "I watched you and Sam die" Dean says after a moment of silence. "We were on a hunt and got separated from each other. I looked and looked and looked until I heard a scream. It was Sams. I tried to run towards where it came from but no matter how much I ran it felt like I wasn't moving. Then I heard you scream and I tried to get to you but I couldn't. I just kept hearing yours and Sam's screams and pleas for help. I kept running and running but couldn't go anywhere. Something turned me around and I saw you. Both of you. Other angels were attacking you and I screamed and you looked at me. You begged me for help. But I couldn't move. I tried to get to you. I did but I couldn't the last thing I saw was you choking on blood begging me to help. And-and Sam he-he-" Dean couldn't finish his sentence because he was crying too much. He brought his knees up to his chest and hid his face. He mumbles something but I can't hear him. "I can't hear you Dean" He lifts his head up and says "I don't deserve you. I don't deserve you or Sam as my family. I'm poison. I'm broken" I look him shocked. "How could you think that" I say "Because it's true. I'm poison to anyones life I touch. Everyone I've ever loved dies." "Sam and I are still here" Dean gives a sad smile. "I know. And I'm grateful for it. I just cause so much pain and I wish I could give you and Sam so much more. I mean Sam wanted to go to college and become a lawyer, now he doesn't even have a real ID and is a fugative from the FBI. And-and you, you've rebeled been kicked out of your home. You're hunted. You lost your wings. And you lost part of your grace making you part human. You should have never pulled me out of hell" Dean had quit crying but still looked like he could at any moment. "Dean" I say cautiously. "Sam chose this life over the one he had. He chose you Dean. And so did I. I pulled you out of hell because god commanded it but I would do it again. I would do it a million times if it means being with you. Sure I lost part of my grace and my wings but it's worth it. It's worth it because you are my home Dean not heaven. You are my home. I love you Dean. I need you to see that. I need you to see that you are not poison. You are the best thing that could have happened to me" Dean looks at me wide eyed. We've never talked about feelings before so this was new to both of us. "Do you mean it? You love me" he asked. His voice is raw and full of emotion. This is the most vulnerable I've ever seen him. "Yes Dean. I, love you. I truly love everything about you. Every last detail." I say. "I-I uh I, love you too Cas" he says. I know it was hard for him to say those three words so I pull him into a hug. He hugs back wrapping his arms around me. I lay down pulling him with me. He cuddles into my side, resting his head on my chest. I gently rub his back in hopes that it will relax him. "We will talk more in the morning. Right now just rest" Skin after I said this Dean was out like a light and I was left wondering when Dean became so broken. It doesn't matter because I will spend the rest of time putting the pieces back together.