Forbidden Love .

20_ Be okay .

lillia P.O.V 

It's been a week since victor gave the advice of my life , the one that gonna change it for good this time .

Let go . It's ironic how two simple words can wreck lives .

Let go . After all it's easier than it's done .

No matter how much i tired to pen my mouth and end our pain for good , Nothing comes out anf i feel helpless and useless and horrible for foing this to him .

" And you think victor was the right person for an advice . " , Since i told annabelle about my encounter for victor she was raging at me , she told adam about that and he just can't believe what i am doing .

I understand them , i really do . but they don't get me , they didn't see the victor that I saw , they didn't the sincer and the guilt in his eyes but i did , i saw the new him and how his eyes reflected the regret .

I had to grab belle hand and pull her to me because she was pacing infront of me and shouting to me like there is no tommorow , but that didn't uppset me at all . actually it was kinda of refreshing to see how much someone cares about you , belle tend to freak out when she is so worried about the ones she loves and that exactly what she was foing now , she was worried sick about me but i was fine .

" Listen , annabelle . You and i both know what victor said was right despite he was evil or good . and belle in everyrelationship when two people have to break up someone  has to be okay , and i want that person to be him . because i'm good with pain , i don't know if he is but i difinetly can't see his pain . "

belle was a little calm now . I think she saw what i meant in my eyes and i know it because she has this face now , the face that i'm about to cry because you are right and i can't do nothing about it .

" It's gonna be okay belle , we are gonna be fine . "

I was glued in one place  , but my eyes were everywhere looking for a particular someone . I wasn't ready for this but i had to do It .

" Looking for me ? . " , I didn't have to turn to see who it was ? , his voice has a special sound in my ears .

i'll always look for you , my eyes will always search for you . that's what i wanted to say but i doubt this is gonna help what i'm about to do .

" Yeah , actually . alex we need to talk . " I wanted to be serious but i can't help the smile when i see him but alex sense it because ' we need to talk ' was the silence before the storm .

" Yeah , sure . everything you need . " , It was always about me for him . I can't believe i'm gonna break this guy heart again , i'm gonna break my love again .

" Alex , i know this is getting boring for you . and i can't believe I have to say this again But alex seriously i can't do this anymore . this friends thing it's not for us , it will never workout . who are we fooling we love each other and we are not get over unless we are far far away from each other .  Alex i can't see you anymore it's so hard for me , it's hard for you . you are hurting and i can't see that , So we have to move on , we have to let go .  "

Liar , you want to be his friends , you want to work things out . you don't wanna get over him , you want this love even with the pain , you want to see him for the rest of your life , and you'll never move on because his love is like air to you , and how you are gonna live without air ?  my mind shouted but i had to shut it up so alex can't hear the truth and believe the lies . 

Alex expressions were unreadable , this time he wasn't sad , he was furious . I don't know if he bougth it because even i coudn't believe what i said .

" We have to move . because you already are moving on with him , victor . "

" What ? . "

" Don't play dumb with me lillia , i saw you too . I can't believe you forgave him and out of the blue he is your bestfriend and the one who gives you advices . " he looked briefly at me like he was choosing his words .

" after seeiong how you too worked your realtionship so fast , i start to doubt and wonder have you ever really loved me ? , or you just wanted a beautiful getaway from your ugly life ? . "

if he thought he choose his words , his thought can't be any wrong , because this hurt like hell .

I knew annabelle told him but that was the least i can think about right now , i can' belive alex saw it like that . 

" Alex , i can't believe you . How do you think i choose victor over you ? , Alex i choose to die in hell hole and not seeing hurt for a moment , because you are important to me . even more than my self , because i care about your feeling more than mine , i choose to feel the pain and let you be okay . and you are thinking like that about me . "

I took a deep breath because now i was furious .

" You know what ? . I lied , i love you and i don't wanna move on , i wanna be with you for the rest of my life , i want to be positive and think about something to fix our relationship, I wanna see you , feel you , breath you for ever and i don't wanna let go . ever , but now I start regreting everything , alex no one ever hurted me like you did today . even if this is wrong but thank you for giving me a beautiful getaway from my ugly life . "

I knew he said that just because he was sad , and jealous and angry . but so was i and i couldn't handle it anymore .

I knew now one loved me like alex did , but no one ever hurted me like he did today . 

just for a moment i choose to be selfish , just for a moment i choose myself before him and ran away far from him . 

I heard his hollers towards me calling my name , i knew he regret what he said . but right we can't talk , we were furious and raging , if we kept talking we would just hurt eachother .

And then i realized i wasn't selfish . again , i choose alex , i could've stayed and said a lot of thing that would hurt him and break his heart , but i didn't because again my pain was much easier than his .

after break up's one of the partners has to be okay and i wanted to be him .

Alex , be okay for me . 

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Hey you guys , here i am with another sad one . even i am getting sad i want to stop this .

even I hope the next chapter won't be sad , i'll do my best .

Please vote and comment what you think it's so important for me and thank u .