2Doc Oneshots

Too Many Feelings Lead to Dejection and Unrequited Love {ANGST}

tw: long and v sad and i'd recommend that you are careful when you begin reading.

note: negative thoughts, suicidal thoughts, etc. this is just a pit of angst and depression. also, so extremely one-sided to the point where its really sad. im so fucking sorry for what you read.

songs:
• shiver : coldplay
• losing my religion : rem
• creep - radiohead

i based these loosely on the lyrics and unrequited love, aka one-sided love. i simply looked up songs on this topic and these three had the most meaning to me regarding what i wanted the emotion to be

phase 4

oOo

Murdoc knocked on the door, getting no answer albeit a barely coherent voice requesting the identity of the person who had done the knocking. "2D, it's me," the bassist said and was given permission to enter.

The singer was lying on his bed, his gaze locked on the ceiling. "What do you want?" he questioned, his voice quiet and laced with exhaustion. 2D hadn't left his room in days except to eat and use the bathroom. Even then he didn't speak and was completely out of his mind and unresponsive to anything.

Before doing the Humanz World Tour, he was bubbly and happy, always finding an excuse to be around Murdoc. During the tour, the happiness deteriorated and he only interacted with anyone during shows and meet and greets. When those weren't going on, he stayed on the tour bus or in the hotel room, covering himself entirely with a duvet and crying.

He shared a room with Murdoc each time they stayed in a hotel, which made his depression worse, especially when the bassist would bring women over and force the singer out of the room if he wasn't asleep. Even then, he pretended to sleep even though he could hear all the noises, and wished that for once, Murdoc would care about someone other than himself.

Today in particular was about a month after tour had finished, and 2D had been listening to old Gorillaz tracks, mostly ones that weren't as highly rated as others. He'd ignored everything happening; whether it was the other three band members arguing about something or the sounds which haunted him and made him scream in frustration. He ignored everything, hoping to just be dead to the world. Until Murdoc had knocked on his door, the singer was quite content with everyone doing their own thing.

Noodle had started dating someone (the sex of the person was unknown to 2D), Murdoc was the same way he always was and Russel had begun giving drum lessons. 2D, however, had started drinking and smoking more, picking up a bad habit Murdoc had sort of given up ages ago. Though still doing the exact same thing, did it less frequently.

Murdoc thought for a second: what did he want? He'd decided to knock without a purpose, which was unlike him, and now he didn't know what he wanted. He'd half-expected for 2D to kick him out, but it never happened. Instead, the singer tossed a cigarette in his direction. "If you're gonna stay in 'ere wivout a purpose, at least sit down," he said and Murdoc removed one of the many keyboards from a chair and pulled it over to where it was a safe distance away from 2D, then lit the cigarette, inhaling and exhaling the smoke.

They sat in silence for a good ten minutes before 2D spoke up. "Why are you 'ere?" he asked and again, Murdoc was at a loss for words. "I just wanna see m'best mate, is all," he said and heard a laugh of denial. "Sure, if that's what ya want me t' believe, then it's what ya came in here fo'."

2D laughed dryly before sniffing; the sound making it obvious he was trying so hard not to cry. He didn't want to start crying, especially in front of the person he was... no, not the right word or phrase. He didn't know what he felt towards Murdoc. Hatred, maybe. He'd said he loved the bassist once, but that was forever ago. He was young and naïve. Now, after years of abuse, he knew what Murdoc was really like, and he resented him. He didn't hate him, though, just wanted things to be okay between them. Normal, even.