2Doc Oneshots

There Is Freedom Within {ANGST}

i write a lot of angst but dont worry, i'm okay.

now, a warning: if you are at all triggered by suicide, suicide attempts or are thinking of suicide, these are the hotlines:
usa: 18002738255
uk: 08457909090
australia: 131114
canada (montreal): 5147234000
outside montreal: 18662773553
new zealand: 045861048

for any other country, dm me.

there is a very good reason why i added hotlines and added angst. again, if it triggers you to the point where you can't physically read about it, i'd suggest you dont read this. even if it doesn't trigger you, beware.

story time before i actually begin: two of my friends killed themselves the same way in march of 2017, a week apart from one another. i have also both thought of and attempted suicide. i wouldn't wish it on anyone. so again, READ WITH CAUTION.

set in phase 5, 6 months after murdoc is placed in jail & assuming they still reside in spirit house. also, this plays on the fact that murdoc's in prison in the uk, which ultimately is part of the cause of what's gonna go down

that's all. btw this does have a happy ending.

oOo

Everything in 2D's life confused him; he didn't understand why he had been hit with a car at age 19, only to be in another accident involving the same man and car not long after. Later, that man had chosen to love Stuart, only to abandon him then kidnap him later in order for him to sing for a dead band. Noodle had disappeared and Russel had gone off to God knows where, leaving him entirely alone with his so-called "lover".

Murdoc Niccals was not one to call someone his boyfriend or girlfriend; no, they were a one-night stand. 2D thought that he was different, that he could tighten whatever screw was knocked loose in Murdoc's brain and make him see 2D as more than just a bunch of one-night stands.

And those "one-night stands" continued on Plastic Beach, with Murdoc leading 2D both away to the master bedroom and leading him on with kind words and compliments on his appearance, which he hardly believed anymore.

He kicked a stone that lay in front of the house as he sat on a step with his hands in his pockets, staring out at nothing while he had earbuds in. The Reasons Why by The Cure was playing on repeat at a low volume, the words mixing in with the sound of birds chirping and the wind rustling through the trees.

Oh I am falling through the sky
You remember this?
I am falling in their eyes
You remember the kiss?

He sighed, pushing his hair away from his face. Stuart felt at peace for this one moment, not feeling like he was ultimately in trouble.

Blame the weather
Yeah the cold again
In the darkness for a second
I am sure I see them smiling then
I feel them calling me
Yeah they are calling me

2D stood up and began to walk away from the house, softly humming the tune of the song he felt like calmed him. Ironically enough, the lyrics came from a suicide note sent to the lead singer of The Cure by a fan. How ironic was this song? Well, Stuart was also dealing with a contemplation of whether or not he should write a note or have his death be in secret and have nobody know why he'd done it.

Hell, he didn't even know why he was going to. It was a mystery to him. But as he set off for the hardware store, an image of Murdoc popped into his head, feeding him lies. You aren't worthless, he said.

Ha, he thought. He knew that was a lie. He was worthless. He wasn't beautiful, like Murdoc said. In fact, he was the complete opposite in his mind.