Calling All Boys (Queen)

The Wrong Direction.

Freddie's P.O.V.

I threw my suitcase on the bed and paused for a few seconds, looking around my hotel room.
I had a wonderful view of the city of New York, the room was also lovely, the hotels we stayed in nowadays were a little more luxurious than what we used to stay in a few years ago...we were more well known now so got rockstar treatment, dare I say. And a little more cash to throw around so could afford to stay in hotels where the bed didn't threaten to snap in half when you sat down on it.

But as nice as the room was...it didn't feel right. And I knew exactly why.

Queen had been on a little bit of a break, no studio work, no recording, no concerts...no nothing and I was terribly bored.

But, the last time we had to stay in a hotel somewhere was months ago...when I was still with Brian and he was staying in the same room as me. Sleeping in the same bed...

Now I was in here all alone. In a completely different part of the world to him.

Whilst he was on his honeymoon with his new wife after ditching me for no apparent reason at all.

It was driving me fucking insane. There has to be a reason he left me.

You don't tell someone that you love them...and then leave them for good only two days later.

That's not how love works. Not in my mind, anyway.

My mind just wouldn't let me rest, which lead to me drinking and taking drugs for too much...I acknowledged that. But I couldn't stop.

Not until I have answers because until then...they're the only things that help my racing mind ease a little...that let me think of something other than why the love of my life left me so suddenly.

Why couldn't he just tell me?! Put me out of my misery...I just want to understand what I did wrong...

I had not gone out the night of Brian's wedding, I felt too emotionally exhausted to do so, that was so hard to witness, I never wanted to watch him marry anyone else. I thought he would be mine forever, but I should have been more realistic. Nobody will ever want me forever.

But to watch Brian marry a woman after hardly six months of knowing each other...it was painful but oh, so confusing. Why was she so different to me? I treat him better...

I couldn't comprehend why they had used one of our songs for their first dance, did Brian want me to be singing to him whilst he was supposedly now devoting his entire life to this practical stranger he had married?
Or was that a tactic that she had thought up?
Either way...it was odd. She knew about the relationship that myself and Brian used to gloriously have, you would think she wouldn't even want me at the wedding, never mind dance to my voice too.

I needed so many answers. I had so many questions.

But his wedding had clarified it. I had lost Brian forever. He was never going to be mine again, I'd never be able to make him get a divorce to come back to me...I had let him go so reluctantly, what hurt the most, was that I never had a choice. I was forced to let him go, it was never my want.

Half of my heart was ripped away and he still carried it in his pocket as it still belonged to him. But it was no longer beating.

It hurt so much, watching him marry a woman when I still loved him.

Watching him start a life with someone new whilst I had to put mine on hold to try and repair my bruised self...it's like it's always been...everything always goes Brian's way.

I had unpacked and was currently admiring the view of this bustling city whilst on the balcony, it was warm out, the sun was setting and the sky was turning from a vivid blue to a deep orange with an indigo hue...the fireball in the sky disappearing behind tall buildings, the busy sound of traffic, car horns and chatty people all sounded below me...yet I felt like I wasn't on this earth.