Calling All Boys (Queen)

Intent To Hurt.

Brian's P.O.V.

I could feel John staring at me from across the kitchen table, the lights dim...Roger had stormed off somewhere again...Alison had also stormed off upstairs...

I didn't know what to do or say...there was no way I could explain to Deaky what on earth was currently going on. There's just no way...not without the consequences...

But I'm glad he had said something, had I really been making it that obvious? That I was that unhappy with my life at the moment?

Because if that was so...I would have to make sure I made my mood appear perkier...especially in front of Alison...or she would catch on too and...

"Bri?" Deakys soft voice penetrated my thoughts and I glanced at him, he looked worried, he knew there was something going on...so did Roger and probably even Freddie...which puts me bang smack in the middle of everything and in a very awkward position.

I swallowed thickly.

"You know you can tell me..." He almost whispered, walking around the table now and coming closer.

If I was to ever tell anyone, it would probably be John. I knew I could trust him, he wouldn't go running with his mouth to tell everyone else. He would help...but he wouldn't do things for me...

I wanted to tell him. I wanted to get all of this out in the open...I needed help, I was stuck in this situation and I had no idea how to get out of it.

Fuck...I wasn't even sure how I had gotten myself into it.

The words lay on the tip of my tongue...but I knew if I said one word...my life would come crashing down and there would be nothing I could do about it.

"It's just..." I scraped my fingers through my hair and fidgeted, "Y'know...married life..." I laughed very nervously.

"It's not what you thought it would be?" Deaky asked quietly.

I shook my head silently.

You could say that Deaks, in fact, you could say it's not what I thought I would find myself in at all, I thought to myself.

"In what way?" He responded, I knew he meant well, I knew he just wanted to help...but I had to keep my mouth shut.

Every way, Deaks. Ways in which you wouldn't be able to fathom.

"It's just a little...full on...?" I cringed, that was already too much to say.

John smiled slightly and looked down at the floor, "Your whole relationship is a little full on though isn't it...you're in each others pockets constantly." He nudged me playfully and although I knew he tried to make that sound like a joke...he meant it.

In each other's pockets. That was just a nice way of him saying that Alison doesn't let me go anywhere or do anything by myself, I was surprised she was letting me be downstairs, in my own house on my own.

And god forbid if Freddie is around...she literally won't let me out of her sight if he is.

I pretended to chuckle, "Could say that...I guess I'm just used to having my own space...Freddie wasn't like she is..."

Shit. I really shouldn't have said that.

Johns expression changed now and he looked at me with slanted eyes, as if trying to figure me out, he knew for a fact I was hiding something.

He looked over his shoulder, making sure we were alone, "Bri...can I ask you a question?" He had lowered the volume of his voice so it was almost a whisper, he had also edged a little closer to me.