Calling All Boys (Queen)

Recurring Nightmare.

Freddie's P.O.V.

My blood ran cold.

I found myself staring at John in complete silence, my lips still parted as if I should be talking, but physically, I couldn't and my eyes could look nowhere else apart from at John.
I could feel my heart heavily palpitating and my palms began to sweat.

I swallowed hard and looked down at the floor quickly before looking back at Deaky, "Wh...what...?" My fingers ran through my hair.

Truthfully? I had lost track of time. I wasn't thinking about Brian coming here, I'd remembered that he would be joining us in New York to do interviews...I just didn't realise that he would be here as soon as he was going to be...I needed to prepare myself for seeing him again, this time away from him, it had been the first time we had spent time apart from each other since we broke up and it had been just what the doctor had ordered, it had been beneficial for me...I was frightened that the first glance I got of him, would bring all the bad times back, would make me be a recluse again, the drinking and bad habits to drown all the horrible, plaguing thoughts out would happen again...and all the beautiful memories would slowly chip away at my heart...again...

I felt a hand on my shoulder that slowly pulled me from my thoughts, "I'm sorry, I wish I knew so I could've warned you...but you'll be fine, Fred. I promise." He squeezed my shoulder.

I licked my lips and cleared my throat, "Yes, well...tell him not to bother unpacking..." I said quietly.

John's hand fell away from my shoulder, "Fred, don't. You can't be like this. You can't just throw him out to-" he started, but I cut him off.

"No. I mean...we're all leaving. None of us can stay here..." I started to explain, it wasn't that I wanted Brian that far away from me that I wasn't about to allow him to let him stay in the same fucking hotel...it was the point that we were all in potential danger if we were to stay here.

I looked behind me into my hotel room, checking to see if Roger was awake and lurking, to see what all the commotion was about, but he wasn't. Either way, I stepped out of the doorway and pulled my hotel door closed behind me.

John looked puzzled, "What are you talking about?" He asked, slowly.

"I...I thought you were talking about someone else when you told me Brian was back...I thought for a moment...you knew..." I started, feeling slightly uneasy about breaking this news to him, but he had told me about Brian, it was only right I warned him too.

"Yeah I thought...we were taking about different people for a second there." He let out a slight smile, "Who were you on about?"

I looked at him, studying his face, I had always felt like I had needed to protect the boys, especially Roger and John...but maybe because John was the youngest and I'm the oldest...automatically made me take him under my wing, so I knew I needed to do everything I could to make sure John was protected...

I swallowed hard, "Roger went out last night...so did I. We...we both ended up at Cockpit but he didn't know I was there...but I was watching him from the bar because I could tell he was off his fucking face so I just wanted to make sure he was going to be alright and...and this guy came up to him...started buying him drinks and shit, and...and I thought I knew him but talked myself out of that but..." I lost my thread and my voice trailed off.

"Freddie." John urged me to carry on.

I sucked my cheeks in and sighed, "Roger dropped his drink so at that point I went over there. This guy was stood over him, laughing while he tried to pick up broken glass with his naked fingers, I could tell this guy was rotten...anyway things got heated and the guy got mad, shouted I'll find you, Freddie. Of course I thought nothing of it, thought he knew my name because he knew who I was..." I was stalling by telling him the full story, and John knew that.