Calling All Boys (Queen)

Matthew.

Freddie's P.O.V.

Exiting the cubicle, wiping my nose as I did so, putting the pouch of powder back in my pocket, I finally looked up, expecting to be in here on my own after my curt words with Roger...but he was still in here, leaning against a wall, his arms crossed over his chest and his stone eyes looking down to the floor, his jawline tight.

I looked at him a little gone out for a couple of seconds, waiting for him to look up at me, say something...but he didn't.

I shook my head, loosing every ounce of patience I had and began to walk towards the door to leave.

"You're wrong." He suddenly spoke out, causing me to pause, my hand still gripping the door handle but my back still facing him.

I heard him move, I slowly turned around to face him, letting the door shut behind us again as he walked up to me and stood in front of me closely.

"You think nobody cares about you..." he started, causing me to roll my eyes.

"Roger, don't..." I sighed heavily, I didn't have time for any of his preaching.

"Open your eyes. You don't need to be doing any of this! You say you're just doing it for fun, but it's not fun for you anymore, is it?" His voice had softened now.

But I was getting more irritated.

"You have people, Freddie! But just because you're looking for something in particular you're not even paying attention! You don't need Brian. You're not going to get him back. You have people all over the fucking world who adore you, every single one of them would have you in a second. Yet you still think you have to go out, high and drunk, pluck a stranger from the crowd and shag them in their dim living room on their sofa. That's not a long term fix, Fred. You're just filling the void temporarily, that's why the satisfaction doesn't last. That's why you just keep hooking up with anyone. There are people out there Freddie that will love you for you. Fuck, they'll even treat you better than Brian did, you might even fall harder for them than you did Brian. But you're so wrapped up in your little bitter world of hatred that you don't see that anymore. There are people...very close to you, that care a lot about you and would do anything...for a chance..." he swallowed hard after that last sentence, his eyes dodging away from mine. I didn't want to think about what the last part meant but his whole speech was tiring.

Although, he was absolutely right, but I was in no state of mind to admit that.

He was right, I don't need to be coming out every night to have a one night stand with a stranger, I didn't enjoy it. I wanted stability and love...not rockiness and lust.

But I was still in the revenge mode and felt like I was still getting back at Brian...when in reality, Brian didn't give a fuck what the hell I was doing.

But I was stuck and I couldn't get out and most importantly, right now, I didn't feel like I wanted to stop.

This was my way of life now.

"Shut up, Roger. Nobody will ever want me." I shook my head quickly and turned around from him, leaving the toilets.

"You know what, Freddie?! No. They won't. Not when you're like this. Nobody will ever want a drunken and drugged up cunt like you." The blonde spat, venomously and shrugged, his eyes seemed watery as he pushed past me and disappeared into the crowds.

I stood there motionless, I didn't want to hear what he had to say but those last words stung...is that how I was perceived?

I shook it off, willing the effects of the drugs to kick in and made my way over to the bar to see Deaky still standing there...alone.