Calling All Boys (Queen)

Crazy Little Thing.

Freddie's P.O.V.

"Jim?!" I shouted down the phone but I couldn't hear him and he couldn't hear me, the phone line crackling in my ear as I willed his voice to come through clearly...and then the line went dead.
"No...Miami...?" I whispered down the line, I lowered the phone away from my ear and stared at it in my hand, a constant hum of the dead phone line...

Of course, I should have known, he wouldn't have been able to speak, he was thousands of feet up in the air right now on that plane and yet somehow...I had forgotten about that.

Forgotten that Jim and the rest of them were currently flying to the other side of the world...without me.

Yet, it was my choice. I was the one who decided to stay here, I just didn't want to go home...yet, I didnt want to be here on my own either.

My fucking suitcase was still on that plane with everything that I had brought with me, I had not one thing to call my own apart from the clothes on my body and the shoes on my feet...thank god I always kept my wallet handy, I could easily go out and buy myself a new wardrobe if I wanted but...I didn't.

What was wrong with me? I had cooped myself up in this godforsaken hotel room...but I hated staying in hotels, it was lonely, I didn't feel like I had a place where I truly belonged.

I didn't want to go home yet I didn't want to be here, I didn't want to see anyone yet I didn't want to be on my own either.

Literally the only thing that could cure this limbo would be Brian...but of course, he was probably joining the mile high club with his fucking wife at the moment...not that he wasn't already a member...I mean, of course we had made use of those tiny plane toilets on our many journeys together...

I found myself slightly smiling at those old thoughts but instantly made them go away, no use reminiscing...not like it was ever going to happen again.

I walked over to retrieve another vodka, the shards of glass on the floor crunching under my shoes from the previous glass that I had thrown in rage...

I poured another overly large vodka, taking a big gulp of the icy liquid and hissing as it burned my chest on the way down, although I was here on my own to get away from the boys for a while, I couldnt get away from my work...as a lot of songwriters will tell you, it takes heartbreak to write a really good song...I had not written a damn thing since all of this shit happened and somehow...even though the world would probably know what and who I had written a song about, I felt like I had the emotional capacity to spill it all out onto paper and let my emotions be my ink...

There was a pen situated next to the phone and all I could find to write on was an instruction manual for the telly...but who the fuck doesn't know how to turn on the telly?

I placed my already, half empty vodka down as I sat on a flimsy little chair in the corner of the room, my head spinning a little bit from the alcohol already.

I stared at the paper as I spun the pen between my fingers...I don't often have to force lyrics out, they usually flow, the idea already there, but I was numb with nothing to give.

Flashbacks entered my head, this felt like de ja vu...back when I was in a pickle with Brian...again. Trying to figure him out, not even knowing if he liked men at that stage, still, I was trying to catch his eye...all whilst tinkling on a piano and writing some little lyrics down, completely reflecting how lonely I felt at that time...thus, one of my favourite songs I had ever written was born, Somebody To Love.
That song was still one of my favourites even though now it brought me sadness every time I heard it, I had of course written it with Brian in mind, wanting that somebody to love to be him. It was one of my proudest creations and I would say I like it even better than Bohemian Rhapsody...but now I was writing another song...in the same context, about being lonely and not having anyone to share my life with and blah blah blah...yet somehow I didn't think this song would have quite the same feel as Somebody To Love...I was still hopeful whilst writing that...this time? I'm not.