Calling All Boys (Queen)

Kaleidoscope.

Freddie's P.O.V.

I pulled my hand away from his and stepped back from Matthew, shaking my head as I staggered a little, the alcohol intake feeling so much worse now... "No...I have to be on my own." I scraped my fingers through my hair as I span, beginning to clumsily pace around the room, "I need to be on my own...I can't...I can't..." I blabbered, words spilling from my mouth without me knowing, inconsistent babbles and nonsense leaving my lips.

I was panicking, my hands shaking...my heart beating like it would explode...I couldn't catch my breath.

Surely...this is just the alcohol.

It's just the vodka.

"Breathe." Matthews hands were suddenly upon my shoulders, guiding me over to that chair and forcing me to sit down where the room instantly began to spin.
"Freddie." He clicked his fingers in front of my face, apparently my eyes had closed, I forced them open, "You're getting yourself into a state...calm down." He said softly.

"Do you know anyone that sells drugs...?" I slurred.

He reeled back, shocked, "What?"

I groaned, "Cocaine...something along those lines." My eyes rolled into the back of my head as my head fell and I hit it on the back of the chair.

"Are you kidding me?" Matthew stood up and took a few steps away from me, staring at me dissapprovingly.
He pointed at me, "Freddie, I don't want to be your carer. Okay? I'm not here to look after you. Do you think I offered for you to stay with me because I want to mollycoddle you? Make you breakfast in bed every morning? No. I want you to stay with me because you clearly can't look after yourself. Not like this. I leave you here you'll drink yourself silly and you'll take all the drugs you can get your little hands on, I'll walk in here tomorrow and you'll be fucking dead."

I stared at him, well that was a fucking slap to the face if ever I've had one.

He crouched down in front of me, his hands on my thighs, he sighed, "Okay...maybe I would like to make you breakfast in bed...sorry...I'm just...I'm just worried about you. That's all." He said softly with a chuckle before looking up into my hazy eyes, "Look...I don't know what demons you're currently fighting in your head but...you're letting them get the better of you. I don't know the details but I know you're broken and you're far from healed from what happened with Brian. But come on, your Freddie fucking Mercury, you have the whole world at your feet yet here you are, hiding away in a hotel room, crying over a boy." He took my hands, pulling me up from the chair, "I know you still love him...and all you want right now is to get him back but...you're better than this. Stay with me...for as long as you want...for just one night or for the next month. I don't care, Freddie...I just don't want you here all alone...because you've been all alone up in here..." he tapped my head gently, "...for way too long already."

I stared down at him, his words touched me, maybe I was just being over sensitive because of the alcohol or because what he was saying was true...

I had been alone...not really knowing what to do, thinking I had no one to turn to, that Rog and Deaks wouldn't want to hear me cry myself to sleep again or pour my heart out again so I just bottled it up and now bit by bit...it was coming out.

I felt a lump in my throat, but I couldn't help but smile a little, "You don't know me, Matthew." I croaked slowly and quietly, words still knitting together as I continued to sway but his words had somewhat sobered my mind.

He quietly laughed and shrugged, "No...but I would quite like to get to know you..." he replied quietly, a blush spreading across his cheeks.

My smile grew along with the lump in my throat, why was I such a soft fucker? "You might think I'm a monster..."