State of Confusion (Doctor Who Fanfic)

Chapter Sixteen - Gallifrey

CHAPTER SIXTEEN

Gallifrey

Rose took a few deep, slow breaths, feeling an unfamiliar, tingly warmth in every corner of her body.  Floating in the dark, hand in hand with the Doctor - although she couldn't see him - she somehow felt like she was moving.  Then, out of nowhere, a flash of cold, like the blast from opening the door on a windy winter morning.  She gasped in surprise, and closed her eyes tightly as she focused on it.  It felt so real.  But it wasn't real.  It was just a perception, like virtual reality.  Inside of his head.  Inside the Doctor's head.

Slowly, the cold subsided, before it had the chance to really chill her.  Scents - the strangest scents in combination - surrounded her next.  Fish and roses, rain and the scent of oak burning.  The tingling she had felt in her fingers and toes was behind her eyes now.  It didn't hurt.  It tickled.

"Doctor, what are you doing?" she asked, trying to hold back a giggle. 

"Your mind is trying to find something familiar to compare it to."

"To compare what to?"

His voice lowered to a whisper, lips brushing her ear lightly.  "Open your eyes, Rose."

She complied, half expecting it to still be dark.  Instead, she found herself lying on her back, staring up at a bright, endless sky, orange and pink and red and swirling as if it had a life of its own.  Her eyes widened.

"Just take it in," the Doctor whispered.  "The longer you look at it, the more sense it'll make."

She realized her hands were tightened into fists, gripping the down-soft blanket underneath her.  She loosened them, fingers wandering over the soft texture.  Up above her, the swirls formed to pale pink clouds, light and wispy in the sky.  The confused scents had turned into something much like cinnamon, with odd - but not unpleasant - overtones of lilac. 

"Where am I?"

"You're inside of a memory," he breathed.  "And this is Gallifrey."

She glanced at him, still lying beside her, and her eyes widened in surprise as she stared at the face of a blonde young man she'd never seen before.  Startled, she sat straight up.  "Omigod!"

"What?" he asked innocently.

She hesitated for a long moment, staring at him.  It was him; she knew that after only a moment.  But he looked so young.  Slowly, carefully, she reached out to touch the side of his face.  His eyes, clear and deep and familiar, held her in place.  But even they were young - innocent and unscathed.

"Inside of a memory," she repeated softly, stroking her fingers along his jaw.  "Is this how you remember yourself?"

He didn't answer, just turned his head to lightly kiss the inside of her wrist.  Swallowing hard, she pulled her hand away.

"How old are you here?"

"Fifty-six."

Her eyes widened.  "You look... my age."

He smiled, but didn't answer.

She realized she was chewing on her lower lip and forced herself to stop.  "Can I see... you? The other you, I mean.  The you that I know."

"Look harder."

She studied him as hard as she could.  Nothing changed.  Then, finally, he pushed himself up beside her, slid a hand into her hair, and pulled her into a slow, gentle kiss.  Her eyes slid closed involuntarily as she melted into him.  He still kissed like the Doctor.  As he slowly withdrew, she almost didn't want to open her eyes.  When she finally did, she was staring back at a familiar face.