After We Happened

XXXVII. Found My Aim

Kabanata 37

Found My Aim

It's been a week.

Siguro naman naka-uwi na siya, 'di ba?

Nandito nanaman ako sa kanila at eksaktong-eksakto, dahil finally... naabutan ko na siya. Mukhang paalis na siya.

He was only wearing a black polo shirt and white shorts. Tapos ay may shades siya na nakalagay sa ulo. He stopped when he saw me. He looked so pale... siguro pagod sa trabaho. Masyado niya kasing ginugugol ang oras niya para sa trabaho, to the point na nauubusan na siya ng panahon para sa sarili niya.

Mukhang namamayat na rin siya.

Saan ba kasi siya nagpunta?

"Hi..." I waved and smiled at him awkwardly.

Tinanguan niya lang ako at pinagtaasan lamang ng isang kilay, ni hindi niya ako nagawang batiin pabalik. Hanggang dito na lang ba talaga tayo, Darlin?

"Uhm... can we talk? Hindi ka kasi nag-rereply sa mga text messages ko eh," I smiled at him to remove the uneasiness that I was feeling.

"Oh... sorry," he started. "I was at Isla Paraiso and poor signal..." he said.

I smiled sadly to myself. I don't like this. Ayoko ng ganito. Gusto ko 'yung natural lang, 'yung kusa lang... iyong katulad noong dati, hindi 'yung kelangan niya pa talaga pag-isipan ang mga sasabihin niya sa akin.

"Ah. I see... one week? For work ba 'yan? Sabi kasi sa akin ni Tito eh."

He nodded but I wasn't convinced.

"Can we talk?" I asked for the nth time.

Is this my karma?

A small smile was plastered on his face, then he nodded slowly. "Let's talk somewhere else," he said as he made his way to his black Ford Ranger.

I followed him. I was hesitating... dapat ba akong sumakay or should I drive my own car?

Hindi ko namalayang natulala lang pala ako doon sa labas, natauhan na lamang ako ng ibaba niya na ang bintana ng front seat.

"Hey, you coming?" tanong pa niya. Naka-shades na siya ngayon and I can't help but be in awe.

Yung kagwapuhan niya ganoong ganoon pa din, katulad pa rin ng dati. It was like he never aged at all. Yung nakabagsak niyang buhok... damn shit naman oh.

I nodded. "I'll follow," sabi ko sabay turo sa kotse kong nakapark sa hindi kalayuan.

From the way he converses with me, ayokong mag-assume sa ngayon. A part of me was unsure and breaking.

Itutuloy ko pa ba 'to?

What if he doesn't want to be with me anymore?

Paano kung napagod na siya sa akin?

What if he doesn't love me anymore?

Tinaas niya ang shades niya at pinanliitan ako ng mata. "No, dito ka sasakay," sabi niya and I did. At least siya na ang nagsabi.

The drive was quiet and I didn't even notice that I was already humming the tune of All I want.

Na-LSS kasi ako simula nung mapakinggan ko 'yun or maybe, I've always listened to it because it kind of reminds me of him.

"So you've read it?" tanong niya at bahagya akong nilingon.

"Yeah..." I answered sheepishly.

"Can you sing it for me?"