Love Never Gives Up (Changed) 1

Chapter Twelve

No way I was gonna act normal around him. I remember the ring and I go back in my room. I look around a bit until I find it. It's in my dresser. Hidden with all the other things Chase got me. I kneel down without hurting my wrists, to look at everything. I pick up random notes he gave me. I smile and read one that's my favorite.

I really believe you are the best thing that has ever happened to me. =) I love you Lisa.

I put that one back and look at pictures of us. It was last summer. Veronica brought us to Temple of Sinawava in Washington County, Utah. I remember that trip. It was so beautiful. We drove through Wyoming, which took us a while to get there. We brought Dakota with and she loved it. The whole trip was fun. We found dog-friendly hotels. We took a million pictures. It felt good to get outta the house. For all of us. That was before I cut myself. We were all so happy, and normal. I put the picture back and pick the ring up. I slip it on my finger. I wanna fix this with Chase. But then there is Jake. I have no clue what I'm gonna do about those two. Something catches my eye. It's a piece of paper. I unfold it and I realize it's Chase's handwriting. I read with shaky hands.

How can you call yourself ugly.

When you don't really see yourself.

In the way your eyelashes rest on pale skin;

In the way your tears lay on smooth cheeks.

The moment you blink and the little droplets fall.

And the way you laugh freely.

And the smile that comes naturally when you're around certain people.

The way your hair falls into your eyes when you're lost in a book.

Like your trying to hide your face.

The way you run (from yourself, maybe.)

Like there's nothing to stop you.

The way your cheeks turn pink in the cold winters.

The way your chest rises when you sleep at night.

The life inside you.

You can't see yourself when you sing softly.

You can't see yourself doing something you love.

There is no mirror in front of you when you talk to people you love.

The way you mumble and blush.

The smile in your eyes.

You can't see yourself running through the rain;

Or dancing in the sun.

You can't see those things with a mirror.

Your reflection does not show anything on the inside.

That show you are alive, beautiful, and breathing.

No date on the poem. I fold it up and walk out to find Chase. The house is quiet. I look around and I hear a knock at the door. I go to open it and it's my dad. I'm shocked to see him. ¨May I come in Lisa?¨ I nod and hold the door open so he can walk in. He sits down at the island. I stand across from him. His voice startled me, ¨Your mom and I were happy when you were born. You were so lucky to be alive. Only born one pound..¨ When he said that I could see the smile in his eyes. ¨First off when I did abuse your mom years back, I was in the wrong place. I don't even remember why I abused her. We just hated each other. We only stayed together for you. But I know it was very wrong. When your mom filed for divorce, I knew I pushed her too far. You were only seven years old. I let your mom have everything. I know now that I'll never get to see you grow up.¨ I blink back tears. Why do men have to hurt me? I used to love my dad so much. Then he hurt my mom and he left us.