Love Never Gives Up (Changed) 1

Chapter Nineteen

Finally. Two weeks of my suspension is over. I haven't said a word to anyone besides telling the boys or Ivy to leave me alone, or to for them to tell Jake that I´m not here. He has talked to my dad and my dad has tried to talk to me. I avoid everyone in the halls. I´ve gotten more dark clothing so now people are assuming I turned into a goth kid. Jake won´t stop showing up at my place, he'll leave me notes in my locker or tape them to my bedroom door. Whenever I see him, I go into a bathroom and hide. So I´m always late for classes but I don´t care. There is this group of kids that hang out under the football bleachers during lunch and study hall. I always go with them and sometimes they'll have a few joints, but they mostly have alcohol. I sneaked a few beers from my dad one morning and I brought them to school. So ever since then one of us brings the booze for everyone. When they bring the joints, I pass, but I´ll drink just enough to feel numb.

The more I hang with those kids, the more I know I´m changing. I barely eat meals anymore, skipping classes, I've started drinking heavily, not enough sleep, and mostly just being a complete self centered asshole. So I finally figured out the names of everyone in the group. Total of seven people, including me. The alpha is named Shawn, there is another guy that's name is Jason, there is a girl with a pixie cut and her hair is hot pink, her name is Erin, there is a stoner in the group and his name is Nathan, a redhead girl named Heaven, and a quiet girl named Samantha, or Sam as she wants us to call her. They know my story, so we all drink and talk shit about stuff.

Jake and I barely talk anymore. I know I fucked things up with him but idk how to fix it. Lunch time has passed so everyone heads back to school. I see Jake walking our way. Shit. I finally make eye contact with him. “Lisa what do you think you’re doing with them?” I shrug. “I’ll just text you later Jake, we’re late for class.” He blocks my way. “Get out of my way Jake.” He shakes his head. Everyone in the group leaves besides Erin and Nathan. The buzz from the alcohol is kicking in finally. I sway a little and Jake’s eyes go huge. “Lisa, have you been drinking?” “Yup.” He shakes his head. I nod my head at the two to go and they do. James stands there with his arms crossed over his chest. He's clearly mad, “You're getting help Lisa. I´m going to tell your dad, he needs to know about this. You weren't like this a month ago.” I shrug. “Things have changed Jake, I've changed, clearly.” He stares at me and I go to walk away. He blocks me and grabs my wrist and squeezes a little too tight. A flashback of Chase grabbing my wrist but harder and wouldn't let me go. I get outta the flashback and I scream. He lets go of me and I fall into the grass. “Don't touch me. Just stay away..” I feel tears coming but I push them down. He looks down at me. He's hurt. I get up and brush myself off. He continues to look at me. ¨I´ll talk to you later Lisa, have a nice day.¨ I stand there dumbfounded and a little hurt. I walk to math class and sit in the back. The teacher keeps teaching the lesson, but I´m in another world. Where do Jake and I stand now? Are we still dating? How could I be so stupid on letting someone love me. I´m worthless. How could I let this happen? Maybe I truly need help. Class ends and then I walk into art. Ms. Day looks at me and her face lights right up. ¨Oh Ms. Lisa, I´ve missed you in my class. Welcome back.¨ I nod and smile a little. I work with broken glass and reorganize it and cut my thumb a little but I wrap it so no one questions. As I´m sorting the glass, I´m tempted to grab a big slice. No one is watching me. Ms. Day is busy with paperwork. I sneak a good chunk and slip it in my back pocket. I get done with the glass, and I start making a clay rose.

I put that in the clay room and go on the class computer and look at drawing ideas. Nothing interests me so I log off and sit at my table doodling on my portfolio. I hear a knock at the door and Ms. Day goes and gets it. “Hello there Jake, so nice of you to drop by, what brings you here?” I don't look up. I listen though. “Hi there Ms. Day, can Lisa spare a few minutes alone, I need to talk to her.” I slightly turn my head and look at them. Ms. Day looks at me and winks, “Of course she may, she was just doodling anyways and completed her daily assignment. Keep her as long as you need. Lisa, someone is here to talk to you.”