Love Never Gives Up (Changed) 1

Chapter Twenty

How could Jake do that to me? I'm currently in my room panicking. I'm twisting my ring around my finger. I feel an attack coming on, and it's bad. I just don't get why he would do this... It frustrates me, yet it terrifies me. Will I get sent away? Will things be the same between everyone and I? My brain hurts from all the thinking, I lay on my bed and wait. I'm giving them five minutes before I get under the covers and hide. I wake to Ivy standing above me. "Lisa, Lisa wake up you have ten minutes to get ready. I forgot to set my alarm, come on!" I jump outta bed and throw clothes on and swipe mascara on. I grab my bag and my leather jacket, and we're out the door and the bus is already down the road. I start panicking and rush inside. I go to the bottom of the stairs and yell, "Rick, Phoenix! We missed the bus, come on!" No one walks down. No loud noises, no nothing. Ivy comes up behind me. "They're bags and shoes aren't here, they must've got up and got on the bus." I breathe deeply and try to calm down. But it isn't working, I see the worry in Ivy's face. "Lisa, you ok?" I shrug the best I can and grab my cell. I text Jake asking for a ride and that we missed the bus. He responds right away saying he's on his way.

I tell Ivy and we head out for our ride. I stand awkwardly in one spot then I start pacing. Does Jake know that I heard him, my dad and Emma talking last night? Will he question my weird attitude? What if he figures out why I'm freaking? What the hell am I doing? Will this tear our relationship apart completely? What if I screwed this past a fixing point. Holy shit, what did I do... So many questions start forming in my head and I rub my temples to try and make it decrease. It never works and I don't get why I tried. I hear a bottle shake and look at Ivy, my bag is on the ground and she has my bottle of headache pills in her hand. She found them. She hands me two plus a bottle of water. "If you're gonna have these in your bag, you need a better hiding spot. I know you're freaking about something, and I can tell you have a very bad headache already, so here, take these and drink lots of water, no umm, no beer or anything like that today." I mumble thanks and pop the pills in my mouth. I can tell she's nervous a bit from telling me not to drink. I won't today.

Jake pulls up right as I'm putting the water bottle away. He rolls the passenger window down and for a split second looks at me. I suck in a handful of air and try to calm my nerves which are freaking out. My cheeks light up with the sight of him. No matter what's going on between us, he still makes me blush. He turns that amazing smile of his on that usually makes me fall to my knees but right now it doesn't, so he ignored me and looks at Ivy, "You are a school skipper Ivy, you ready to go rebel?" Ivy chuckles and I bow my head. I slip my baseball cap on and tighten my leather jacket around me. I smile a fraction, not much for anyone to notice but I felt it. I should be grateful he is giving us a ride. Yet it still hurts when he doesn't look at me nor acknowledge me. I grab my bag and get in the passenger seat. Ivy takes over the whole back seats and I raise an eyebrow. She smirks and I shake my head.

I keep looking at Lisa. I try and focus on the road but it's no use. She looks like shit. She tries to hide her bags with makeup but it didn't do any good. I want to stop the car and just hold her and tell her I'm sorry and I love her. Ivy is on her phone with earbuds in and I know she's giving us the space and time to talk if we want to. I know she took headache pills. When I pulled up the driveway her face went ghost white and it hurt. I just hope she's not cutting. God, I'd hate to find out if she was. But she always has that stupid jacket on so it's hard to tell. Her drinking like this, it's not good. I want my happy girlfriend back. I catch movement outta the corner of my eye and see her looking at me. I sigh and tighten my grip on the wheel. If I could take some things back, I'd do it in a heartbeat.

I turn back around and just watch out the window. I feel Jake's eyes on me, I feel him looking at me at every stoplight, at every chance he gets. When I know he isn't looking at me I sneak small glances at him and the ones I get aren't pretty. He hasn't slept by the way his eyes look, clothes are wrinkled and I'm guessing he probably showered then just threw or slept in whatever he had on before, his hair is a mess and I fight the urge to fix it and just to touch him. His scent is like a drug and I'm attracted to it. I can't help it and I find myself slowly leaning towards him. Before it's noticeable, I shift in my seat and pretend I'm adjusting myself. He doesn't notice. Thank God. I lean my head against the window and I doze off.

I force myself to focus on driving. She keeps looking at me. I can tell she wants to fix my mess of hair. I'd love to feel her hands in my hair. I catch her scent faintly and I breathe it in. Field of flowers, summertime. I love it. I love her. I know she caught my sent cause I watch her slowly lean towards me then adjust herself to make it look like she was uncomfortable. She rests her head on the window and dozes off. When I know she's sleeping for good I whisper, "I love you Lisa, a lot." I pull into the school parking lot and Ivy gets out and waves bye. We have twenty minutes before first hour starts. I gently shake Lisa's shoulder and she jumps and looks panicked. I rub her arm. "Hey, it's ok Lisa." I feel her shivering. She glances at me and I see a hint of fear in her eyes. She looks at the school and she covers it up by rubbing her face. Trying to be tough isn't gonna save you. Let me save you for once, Winters.

Someone is touching me. I want whoever to just hold me and let me forget my pain. I jolt up in my seat. My back is sweaty and so are my hands. I stare at the school. I rub my face and I know Jake is trying to figure me out. I thank him for the ride and I grab my bag and head to the school doors. I hear a car door shut and I turn to look. Jake is standing there watching me. I drop my bag and run to him. He pulls me into an embrace and I start crying. He starts crying too. We can't lose each other. We need to have communication and other things for this relationship to work.