Her Solace

Chapter 17: The Only Way

Von Azrael Sy's POV

Oo nga naman.

He's right.

Why can't I just give him what he wants?

I'm such a selfish jerk. He's my best friend, and yet... ako pa 'tong nangungunang nananakit sa kaniya.

I'm such a horrible person.

Pero...

Why does it hurt so much?

Ang sakit sa dibdib. Sobra. I'm breaking apart bit by bit everytime the thought passes through my mind. Something inside me screams how painful letting her go is.

Pero aaminin ko— it's kinda absurd when I think about it. After all, we just met recently.

Paano ako na-fall in love sa kaniya in such a short span of time? And when I mean short... It was just a few weeks! Hardly three months!

Samantalang dati, sa kaniya, umabot ng five years bago ko narealize na may feelings pala ako sa kaniya.

And I realized it when it was too late.

So I ended up hurting everyone. Lalo na silang dalawa ni Titus.

It's one of my greatest regret.

Maybe this is really my punishment. I need to repent for my mistakes that caused everyone around me suffering.

~
Kanina pa kami nakauwi ng bahay, at andito ako sa kwarto ko, nakahilata sa kama ko. Doing nothing, not even sleeping. For some reason, the spirit of slumber hasn't called for me yet, kaya nandito ako, nakanganga lang.

Hays.

I won't be able to smile at her again, nor laugh with her. I need to leave them alone for real this time.

Ack.

Nakaramdam ako ng pagkirot sa dibdib ko from the thought. Why does it hurt so much? Sobrang sakit... to the point that I can literally feel my body aching.

It's so mysterious. Or rather— love, itself, is. After all, it's the most cryptic thing in the world. Love can strengthen you, yet it can also be your weakness. Love can bring the ultimate happiness, but can also cause you the worst suffering.

Why do we love? Why do we want to be loved? Can love really conquer all?

Heh. No one can answer my questions.

Nagulo ko ang buhok ko out of frustration at napatingin sa sliding door sa room ko that leads to a veranda.

I walked towards it and opened the-

BRRRRR!

A-Ang lamig! I think my blood froze along with my saliva.

I don't know why, but I kept on going kahit sobrang lamig. This is Baguio, alright. The temperature just keeps on dropping.

I looked up, and my mouth hung open in awe after seeing the night sky- full of stars, and the moon is perfectly bright.

It really is so beautiful, and nothing can ever beat Father's creation.

'Father? Since when did you called God Father?'

Wait... You're right?

Why did I say that? I don't refer to him that way.

Weird.

"Von! Are you okay?!" Napapitlag ako sa sigaw no'ng unggoy as he hurriedly entered my room, a knife on his hand, which made me leap away from him in shock.