The Groom's One True Bride

Chapter 10

This was the hardest decision for her.

She picked up her bags after the taxi dropped her off.  She just had a few things, hoping she wouldn't have to stay too long.  She took a deep breath, and rang the doorbell.

Manang was still there, and gave her a soft smile.  That was enough welcome for her.  She smiled back, and walked forward.  One step at a time.

Ella was the first to know about her plan, and she was half-surprised and half-amazed at what Alyssa is going to do.  "May mas ikakagulo pa ba sa kuwento na 'yan, Besh?" she exclaimed, and added, "Ano 'to?  Lokohan?"

Alyssa closed her eyes for a second, and wished it was just a dream.

Ella pointed out that she had an option to disregard Kiefer.  She knows it, too.  But that would mean going through the effort of hiding away from him.  That would be way too stress playing cat and mice.

She understands why Kiefer wanted to keep her by his side - to avoid futher blackmail and scandal.  The convenience of having her around, knowing he is in control.  Ella pointed out that she could just as well be imprisoned by his paranoia, and that Alyssa could always charge for harassment.

But she does not want any of that.  Charging him would be depriving Isaw the love and normalcy of a father.  It would definitely affect his relationship even further with her.

Her knees wobbled, more than when she walked down the aisle more than a year ago, pretending to be Sarah.  And the more she got inside the house, the more she is afraid of what the future brings -

A life devoid of love.

She understands why Kiefer hates her now.  She has bolted out on him in the assumption that he is Zitti's father, and for pushing him to take Sarah and Zitti in, when they have already talked about how the setup would have been.  She let her emotions get the better of her.  She let herself play the overacting martyr.

She wanted to run away and hide from her stupidity! 

And she hasn't started on Sarah!

She felt betrayed in knowing that Sarah lied to her about Zitti's father.  Or maybe, Kiefer is still in denial about it?

She shook her head.  One problem at a time.  She'll get through it.

She barely got out of their house  in Batangas alive.  Her parents were devastated with her decision.  Why does she want to put herself in such a precarious decision, especially with her pregnant and no means of living?  Her decision is made; her parents just brought her to the terminal, comforted with the idea of Alyssa bringing a small traveling bag with her.

She walked the entire length of the hall; she saw his back by the sliding door in the dining room.  He seems to be hunched brooding.

Maybe he feels being imprisoned by her as well.  Like he has no choice.

She let out a soft whimper.

"You can do it, Mom!"

"Hush, Isaw!  Gusto mo talaga 'to, ano?  Poging-pogi talaga sa tatay mo?"

"But he is, Mom!  And don't you deny it!  My ears ring everytime your heart goes overtime, beating madly like crazy!"

She smiled.  She loves this imaginary conversation with her child.

She cleared her throat.  It's now or never.  "Kief?"

He never turned around.  "Your room is still where it is," he called out loudly, "And I don't give a fuck whatever you do, just don't try to mess with my life."

"Bakit pa ako nandito?" there goes her temper, and she started to take in a deep breath.  She rephrased it, "If I'm an inconvenience sa 'yo, bakit ba natin ipagpipilitan na magsama tayo?  Pwede naman na sa ibang bahay kami-"

"My house, my terms," he cut her off, and opened the door and stepped out.  Walking out on her.

She took a deep breath, trying hard not to cry.  She looked up the stairs and made her way to her room.

First day at his house, and she could feel the end of her life.
*****************************

"Grandma," Bea called out, and kissed Grandma on her cheek, before kissing Mozzy's cheek, too.  They were having lunch, and Thirdy dragged Bea with him.

"I haven't seen your parents for a while now," Grandma asked as she took a seat, Thirdy helping her.  She smiled and said, "Dad is in Hong Kong.  Again.  Mom is looking out for the construction of our new place in the province."  Thirdy rolled off their orders, knowing what she likes, and they had a full five minutes of bickering before driving the waiter crazy.

"You never liked that salad, because it has aubergine," Thirdy teased her, and her face fell.  "It has?" Bea asked, almost disappointed, and Thirdy laughed.  "Ensalada will always have talong," Thirdy chuckled, and Bea glared at him.  "Then your ensalada is a lie! They never had any eggplant!"

Thirdy blushed, and covered it up by saying, "Because you insist not having it, then go crazy if you see one!"

They continued bickering while Mozzy finished ordering for everyone.  Grandma looked around and asked, "Where's Kiefer?"

Mozzy looked at her mom and replied, "He said he is stuck at the office, and needs something done."

"I don't believe him," Grandma shook her head.  "Eversince Alyssa left, he has slowly withdrawn from us.  Physically, he is there, but somehow...," she murmured, "Have you talked to your son?"

"Yeees…," Mozzy replied, not sure if now is the best time to let her know that Sarah is gone, too.  She took a deep breath, and said, "We have talked, Ma.  And may problema na naman siya."

"Really? What has he done this time?" Grandma asked.  She has always believed that Kiefer could have done something and made Alyssa stay if he wanted to.  She blames Kiefer for the misery he has inflicted on himself.

"No, Ma," Mozzy tried to explain, "But…"  She looked around, as if someone is listening to their conversation.  She dipped her head low to discretely whisper to Grandma.  "Sarah left Kiefer.  Again.  Taking Zitti with her," she spilled, and Grandma had to literally move back, disbelieving.  "That can't be," Grandma muttered, and Bea and Thirdy started listening on them.  "Why would she do that?  That just… all that sacrifice by Alyssa… now put to waste…," she stammered, trying to control her emotions and her thoughts.

"Why, Grandma? What happened to Ate Alyssa?" Thirdy asked, Bea leaning towards him.  He pushed her away because she looks stupid that way.

"Ask your mother," was all Grandma said, but evidently, she seems troubled.

"And, Ma," Mozzy cleared her throat, "Alyssa is pregnant.  And could possibly be Kiefer's."

Grandma made a sign of the cross, "Dios mio!  Does Kiefer know?"

This part is something Thirdy and Bea know, so they both dropped their heads, not wanting to be involved.  Their grandmother noticed their subtle exchange, and focused her attention on them.  "Hijo, Hija, do you have anything to say?"

They exchanged glances, and Bea cleared her throat, "Uh... The cream dory is fantastic?"

Grandma gave her a stern look, and Bea smiled sheepishly.  Thirdy cleared his throat, and covered for her, "He knows, Grandma."

His grandmother continued to stare at him, and he knows she is trying to absorb everything.  Mozzy reached for her mother's hand and squeezed them, "Alyssa is denying it's his, and... And we're not sure why.  I mean, kung totoong anak niya, why deprive0 the child of the father?"
00
"So are you saying that Alyssa was having an extra-marital affair?  With whom?" Grandma asked, trying to mask being scandalized by the idea.

Mozzy dropped her gaze, and smoothed the table napkin on her lap, "I don't think she was.  I think she is hiding the real reason why she is keeping it a secret to him."
****************************

"Ells, nagugutom na naman ako," Alyssa complained, and rubbed her belly gently.  This caught Ella's attention, and she stopped Alyssa's hand from rubbing further, "Tigilan mo nga 'yan, Besh!  Magkaka-stretchmarks ka niyan!"

"Makati siya, promise!" Alyssa sighed, and tried to divert her gaze.  She wanted to divert her attention.

It has been a week since she has been at Kiefer's, and so far, she is free to do as she pleased.  The only thing is that she has to do is inform Kiefer whereever she is going to every time she steps out of the house. 

Kiefer doesn't say much when she's around, but she could feel the coldness in the tone of his messages.  Accusing.  Harsh.  Just plain cold.

So far, it's still bearable, except that it sometimes scrapes on her emotions.  But on a more logical perspective, all is well.

"Grabe, Besh, matakaw ka na dati, pero ngayon, mas malala ka!" Ella teased her, "pero kahit ganun, bakit mas malaki pa rin ang baby fats ko kesa kay Baby Isaw?  Ano yun?"

Alyssa laughed, and pulled Ella to an ice cream parlor.  "Besh, mukhang nagmana ang anak ko sa 'yo," she laughed, and Ella retorted, "Pasalamat ka! Gandang bata niyan, swerte siya!"

They took their order, and waited for their ice cream, when they started talking about what Alyssa has been missing - volleyball.  "So paano na ngayon, di ka na ba babalik sa paglalaro?" Ella asked, and Alyssa just shrugged her shoulders.  "Pag okay na ako, at kapag maayos na lahat, sana tatanggapin pa rin ako ni Coach."

"Oo naman no!  Kung hindi naman, pwede ka rin mag-assistant coach," Ella offered, and Alyssa laughed, "Ano 'yun? Papaalisin mo ang isa sa kanila dun?"  Ella just scratched her ear, "E 'di magdagdag sila! O di kaya ibang team.  Ganern."

Their ice cream parfaits were brought to them and they started to dig in.  "Pero seryoso, Besh, paano yung work? I mean, alam ko si Kiefer magpo-provide sa 'yo habang nasa poder ka niya, pero ganun na lang?  Sa kanya ka na lang aasa?"

Alyssa sighed, "Nag-aapply ulit ako.  Tinry ko balikan si Ma'am Tina, nagpasa na rin ako ng resume sa kanya.  Sabi niya tatawag na lang daw sila, pero mukhang wala pang hiring.  Pero nangako naman siya na ire-reserve daw niya ako ng slot if meron."

"Kase naman pabugso-bugso ng mga desisyon sa buhay.  Hindi ka naman ganyan dati," Ella mused, "Dati, ikaw pa ang takot na gumawa ng life-changing decisions.  Ngayon, look at you! Nagpanggap, nagpakasal, nag-resign, buntis, boom!"

"Di ko rin nga maintindihan, Besh, e," Alyssa played with her spoon.  Things have definitely changed.  "Ayoko ng ganito, yung tipong napaka-helpless ko.  Pero...," she sighed, and spooned her ice cream.  "Pero mas ayoko ng gulo, Besh.  Ayoko yung maya't maya may nag-aabang sa akin, na parang sinisingil ako..."

Ella stared at her for a second, as if in a trance.  "Ayaw mo ba lumaban man lang, considering na sila ang nagdala ng kapahamakan na 'to sa 'yo?  Na hindi mo naman kasalanan, at magpasalamat sila at nakisali ka pa nga sa kalokohan nila?" Ella pointed out. 

Alyssa sighed, "Gustuhin ko man, stress lang makukuha ko. Ngayon nga na pinagbibigyan ko si Kiefer, stressed pa rin ako. What more pa kung magpapa-issue ako."

Ella tapped her chin with her index finger, thinking, "Paano kung magtago ka? Mangibang bansa?"

"Besh, buntis ako. Mahirap na," Alyssa reasoned out, and Ella sighed in defeat. "Ewan ko sa 'yo talaga," Ella exclaimed, "Parang mas gusto mo ata na pahirapan sarili mo kesa ipagtanggol mo sarili mo!" 

"Okay na siguro ang ganito, Besh.  Pansamantala  lang naman.  Hanggang magsawa si Kiefer.  Hanggang siya na ang sumuko," Alyssa murmured, and Ella looked at her with worry on her face.  "Besh, hindi naman sa nang-aano ako, pero hindi lang ako kumportable na parang magpapakain ka na lang ng buo sa kanila," Ella explained, "Dapat matuto ka ring tumanggi."

Alyssa nodded her head, "Siguro gagawin ko 'yun, kung sarili ko lang iniisip ko.  Pero habang buntis ako, pakabait muna ako.  Di ako pwede ma-stress, nor si Isaw."

Ella sighed, and just then, Alyssa's phone beeped, with a message from Kiefer.  Alyssa's brow bunched, and Ella murmured, "Basta kung ano man, Besh, andito lang ako.  Kahit may kalayuan ang bahay ninyo, pupuntahan talaga kita  araw-araw kung kakayanin ko."

Alyssa raised her face to Ella, and smiled her sweet smile.  "Salamat, Besh," she whispered, and sighed, "Ubusin na natin 'to.  Hinahanap ako ni Master.  Gagabihin daw siya, pero gusto niya nasa bahay na ako mamayang 5PM, bago umuwi si Manang."

"Parang mas bagay ang Warden kesa Master," Ella retorted, and Alyssa chuckled.  "So ano ako, takas?" Alyssa joked, and Ella rolled her eyes.  "E ano pa?" Ella said, "Kundi bilanggo ng pag-ibig."
*****************************

He was dead drunk, and Luigi was helping him on his feet up to his room.

Alyssa was on the kitchen, fixing her milk when they arrived, and Luigi looked at her helplessly, as if torn between asking for help from her, or just pretending that he can do it by himself.  Alyssa followed them up the stairs, careful with the glass of milk in her hand.

It took a while for Luigi to deposit Kiefer on the bed, and as soon as he did, he stepped out and smiled at Alyssa who was a good distance from the bedroom door.

Alyssa is not sure if Luigi knows their setup now, and she just smiled and said nothing.

Luigi sighed and scratched his nape.  "Alyssa, pasensiya ka na kay Kiefer.  Medyo napadami ang inom," he said sheepishly, and Alyssa just nodded, drinking from her glass of milk, as if seeing Kiefer  like that is a pretty natural thing.  She smiled at him, and muttered, "S-sige, ako na bahala."

Just as she turned around, Luigi called out, "Ly?  Okay ka lang?"

Luigi somehow learned about the story, pieced the stories together, and the ride to Batangas with Ella.  Ella kept her promise of being mum about Alyssa's secret, but he somehow heard bits and pieces which somehow matched with that of Thirdy's and Kiefer's hushed stories.

He is somehow having the picture of Alyssa and Kiefer having some marital problems, to the point of Alyssa moving out of the house.  And now that she's here, and him hearing about Kiefer's drinking spree and witnessing it now, and Alyssa's apathetic attitude somehow confirms what has been running on his head.

"Hindi dapat ako nanghihimasok sa gulo ninyo," Luigi started out, "pero sana okay kayo ni Kiefer.  Kiefer… he is a nice guy.  Tiyagaan lang.  Pero he is one of the nicest I know.  Walang ka-plastikan.  Mabilis lang mapikon, bugnutin, pero he's loyal to the end.  Totoo siyang tao."

Alyssa nodded, and dropped her head, afraid that Luigi will read too much from her.  "Alam ko naman 'yun e.  Kaya nga ako andito pa rin, kahit na… alam mo na…," she pursed her lips, and pointed at his direction.  Luigi chuckled silently, and smiled at her.  "Kung ano man, tawagan mo ako."  Alyssa nodded, and gave him a hesitant smile.

"Huwag mo na ako sundan.  I know my way out," he said, and started to leave.  But before he stepped down the stairs, he said, "Hindi ka niya kayang saktan.  Mahal ka nun."

She just smiled a small one, and Luigi left.

She let out a deep sigh, and finished the milk in her hand. 

She slowly walked towards his room, and saw him lying down in bed.  She could smell the booze, and she wrinkled her nose.  She placed her glass on Kiefer's bedside table, and looked for a towelette to clean him up a bit.  She still knows where his stuff are, so she started pulling out his night clothes, when she heard him moan and stir.

She's not sure how to react, when Kiefer went back to sleep.  She let out a deep sigh, and walked towards him.  She gingerly raised his head so she can wipe his face clean…

She still loves him.

Hands shaking, she lovingly wiped his face clean, afraid he'll wake up.  She tried to swallow the emotions running through her, fighting for her sanity…

She undressed him, fighting the urge to hold him close, feel his skin next to hers…

Mom, you know, you and Dad can always patch things up.  Like Ate Zitti and Tita Sarah are no longer under his wings…

Isaw, it's bed time for you.  Back to sleep.

But I like the sight of Daddy.  I like his smell.  Not tonight, but I like his smell.

She smiled.  That's why we do Daddy's laundry.  So you can smell him.

I know.  So going back to my argument, you can always patch things up with him, Mom.

That's why we're here, Isaw.  Even if it's complicated… even if it might mean learning that he does not love me, and has not loved me at all.  But I'll try, anak.  Just for you.

As soon as he was already in his comfy night clothes, she stood up and closed the lights.

Good night, Daddy.
***********************