I bet you've all been wondering why I haven't been caught or even investigated for murder.
Well, I've actually been seeing a police officer named Alan.
We met one time at a party, I was outside smoking some (butt) crack, and he wanted some. So, I passed the pipe.
We instantly became friends and shared everything. I told him about mal and well, he hated mal, too. Because well, Alan is bisexual and hit on mal a couple of years ago. Mal was really disturbed by Alan's smooth moves so, he broke both of Alan's legs.
So, he said if I did the dirty work with my accomplice, that he'd cover for us. Who could I pass up an offer like that? No one.
Alan also cleared my record for grand theft auto for over 500000, possession of 67 pounds of weed, 3 pounds of heroin, 7 pounds of cocaine, crack, and attempted murder.
So who's the real winner?
