Stars {Complete}

One

Dan,
I am so sorry this is how you had to find out. I am so sorry that I couldn't stay strong enough to make you happy. I really wanted to- But I was dying Dan. We both knew I didn't have much longer anyway. 
You will always and forever be my only love, but you'll need to move on. Don't get hung up on me not being there- You'll find someone.
Don't misuse your power, babe.
Yours, forever.
PJ
I will miss you, my beautiful pup.

Dan sat in the corner of his room, he kept reading the letter but it never made sense. PJ couldn't be dead. He couldn't have taken his own life. Dan screamed and threw the letter, pushing his hands to his ears, trying to block the world out.
It wasn't fair. It wasn't fair that PJ died. It wasn't fair that he was dying. It wasn't fair. It would never be fair.
Dan slammed his fists on the ground and let out a broken sob. The only consistent thing in his life was gone, forever. You can't just resurrect people- life isn't like one of Dan's fucking video games. PJ left his one shot at playing.
"Why?" Dan cried out, he got up and shakily walked over to PJ's hoodie, and snuggled his face into the fabric. 

It smelt like late night phone calls and floral shampoo and winter Starbucks and monopoly Mondays, it smelt like doing homework on the bus to school and sharing headphones, it smelt like sunrises and most importantly it smelt like home.
"It should've been me" He cried into his hoodie.
It had glitter sparkles and spots of glue from their failed crafts for PJ's art class, it was covered with sloppy kisses and early morning 'I love you's and joking with PJ's cousins, it was covered with everything that made PJ, PJ.
Except none of that mattered now because PJ was gone and Dan was still there. 
Dan grabbed his backpack
It had been a week, he needed to go to school. He wanted to talk to Phil, PJ's cousin, about PJ.

<><>

Dan hadn't talked to Phil much, but from Dan could remember, he was very handsome. He had dyed black hair and ivory skin. His eyes were almost harsh blue, but not, because the spirals of gold and green softened it.
Dan had ever only known Phil to be happy, and he checked a lot. When PJ was in the hospital, he would always try to make eye contact with Phil to read his emotions, to make sure he wasn't missing anything.

PJ lived with Phil and their family after his family couldn't afford to look after him anymore and pay the hospital bills. The past few months he hadn't spent much time at home. He spent in a hospital bed, coughing his lungs out and dying.
The one weekend he's allowed out of the hospital and he fucking killed himself.

<><>

Dan was worried to talk to Phil, whenever he wanted to he always thought of a conversation he had with PJ before he first met him

"So- as you know I live with my cousins, Phil and his older brother Martyn. You probably won't meet Martyn though, he's hardly ever home anyways" He shrugged "But- be careful of Phil, he- he gets whatever he wants, he's a spoiled brat and doesn't stop until he gets everything he wants."
"What're you afraid of, babe?" Dan laughed
"Phil is very, aware of your beauty. He's seen you around and I just-"
"Babe, I'd never leave you for him."
"Even if you did, he'd just break your heart." PJ shrugged "He doesn't like long-term boyfriends. He's got a long-term girlfriend though."
"He's a fuckboy?" Dan looked confused
"Yeah- Kinda" PJ laughed
"I only have eyes for you" Dan blushed. "Cringy as it is, it's true"
PJ just laughed and wrapped his arms around Dan
"I love you" He whispered
"Not even nearly as much as I love you" Dan replied.

Dan longed to feel so safe again. He longed to feel almost happy again. There was always a part of him that was broken.

<><>

Dan wasn't the average person, he was far from it.
He could read peoples emotions just from looking at their eyes for 5 seconds, and, he had never felt pure happiness. Very few people understood Dan, but PJ did. PJ just wanted Dan to be better.

PJ was the first person to ever take a serious interest in Dan. But that doesn't matter now because he's gone, and for the first time in years, Dan was alone.