Stars {Complete}

Ten

!!!GRAPHIC DESCRIPTIONS OF SELF HARM // DOMESTIC VIOLENCE- READ WITH CAUTION!!!

Dan pulled his bag over his shoulder "Bye Phil" He mumbled, pushing his hands into his pockets. Dan was always the worst at goodbyes.
Phil kissed Dan on the cheek "See you soon, right?" He smiled.
"Yeah" Dan blushed as Phil kissed him on the lips, briefly.
"Tell me if you need a hug at any point, okay? I don't want you being scared again"
"Okay" Dan smiled.

<><>

"Daniel where the fuck were you" His mother screamed as he opened the door. Dan shuddered as her voice echoed through the quiet streets.
"I was at Phil's- I told you I was at Phil's" Dan whispered.
"Speak up, you bumbling asshole" She grabbed his arm and dragged him inside. The entire house shook when she slammed the door shut.
"I was at Phil's" Dan shouted. "I told you I was staying the night there"
"Fuckin' liar" She smacked Dan across his face, before reaching for his wrists. "Fuckin' LIES" she yanked his arms. Dan let out a pained cry. He held back tears.
"You're a filthy fag. Phil is too, isn't he?" She spat, grabbing Dan's shoulders and pushing down enough for bruises to definitely form in a couple hours, but not so hard that Dan couldn't stand.
"Mum no- Phil's my friend" Dan tried to stay standing as she applied more pressure. "He isn't gay-"
"Bullshit! Why else would you stay in his house for the night? You're a filthy sinner" She forced him to the ground "You deserve to burn in hell" She kicked his body.
Dan lay as still as he could. He knew she would stop soon because if she did too much someone might notice the bruises.
"I hate you" She spat.

<><>

Dan walked up the stairs slowly. He had waited until his mother had gone out to her next fuck before he even tried to move away from the floor of his hallway.
"You should do it, Dan, nobody fucking wants you around anymore."
His dream still hadn't faded from his mind. He couldn't stop thinking about it. It was all correct. His mother did hate him, his father probably does wish he was never born. Phil probably blamed Dan for PJ killing himself.
And oh, how badly Dan wanted to join PJ. Not even to be with him, just to be away from this horrible world.

Dan opened the bathroom door and approached the cabinet. He scanned the shelves. He could so easily just take his dad's meds and overdose- but that wouldn't hurt. Dan wanted to hurt. The ultimate pain he could inflict upon himself is to live.
Dan grabbed the box of razor blades and pulled one out.

Dan thought about Monica. How she's pregnant with Phil's child- Phil, the boy who called him babe and kissed him when he couldn't sleep. Phil, the boy who meant everything to Dan. Phil, the only person who Dan loved, who was also dating another girl.

He felt the blade go into his skin, swiftly running along his wrists. He kept going, with straight lines going from the left to the right of his right arm, until he ran out of room. Dan pulled his shirt off and began drawing blood from his chest and stomach.

Nobody he wrote with the blade onto his skin,
Fat he wrote on his stomach,
Ugly he scrawled along the right of his chest.
He continued short lines along his entire torso.

Dan was bleeding heavily. This was probably the worst he had ever done in one night. Dan was terrified at how much blood there was

"Tell me if you need a hug at any point, okay? I don't want you being scared again"
Dan reached out to his phone, before clicking Phil's contact.

"Hey" 
"I need a hug" Dan sobbed quietly
"I'll be there as soon as possible" Phil replied, "Mum- I'm taking the car!"
Dan grabbed a cloth, and wet it with water, before wiping the floor. It didn't help that wherever he put his right hand there would be a bloody hand-print left over when he moved it.

<><>

'Outside' Phil texted Dan. He got up off the floor and dizzily began walking down the stairs. Dan forgot he was shirtless.
"Hey Phil" Dan mumbled to the closed door "Please- Please don't be mad"
"I won't, I promise"
Dan slowly opened the door. Phil looked at his body, then to his eyes.
"Babe" He mumbled, as a tear fell.

Dan read his eyes

Fear, love and guilt

<><>

Phil helped Dan upstairs and began bandaging Dan's arms and torso.
"I'm sorry" Dan kept mumbling, as Phil secured the bandages.

"You're so beautiful-" Phil whispered. "You're so beautiful and kind. You don't deserve this pain, you don't deserve any fucking pain" Phil secured another bandage "I know you don't believe me, but I wouldn't ever lie to you about that."
"Phil" Dan whispered "I'm so sorry. I never should've called you-"
"Bullshit. Dan, I am so thankful you called me- God I don't know what I would've done if you weren't there. You mean everything to me, Dan. I swear, whatever you feel- it's relevant. I don't care how little you think I care. I want you to always message me if you're feeling this down."
Dan looked up at Phil. They both had teary eyes.
"I'm sorry" Dan wiped his eyes.
Phil kissed Dan's forehead.
"Phil- You said I could tell you things, right?" Dan's voice was so soft that he was afraid Phil wouldn't hear him.
"Anything."
"My mum hurt me again" Dan looked down at his shoes. They were scuffed and no longer just black
"Do you want to stay the night at mine again?"

Dan contemplated it. He knew that his mum would get angry at him either way since nothing Dan ever did ended well. Staying at Phil's would give him more time to process his emotions. It would give him a space free from hurt.

A temporary life jacket to save him from his sinking mind.

"Yeah" Dan smiled. "Just give me a minute to find a better shirt" Dan motioned to his bandaged chest "Although this may cover me, it is also extremely exposing"

Dan stood up. He grabbed Phil and kissed him, running his left hand through Phil's hair. He didn't care that he was drowning, because Phil kept him above water just long enough to get another breath of air.

Before sinking back down again.