But Do You Love Me?

chapter twenty-one : Unstable

*MICA'S PERSPECTIVE*

As me, Laurelle, and Jennifer are driving back to my house. I can't help but feel angry with myself. I was fighting, while pregnant. If I'd lost Hope, I don't know what I would do!

The tears fall from my eyes as we pull up in my driveway.

Markus isn't here cause his car ain't.

"Gurllll, you sure you wanna come back home. Your mum ain't home and neither is Markus?" Jennifer questions me

"Don't tell me anything about Markus, cause at the moment I couldn't care"

"You sure you wanna be alone tonight?" Laurelle asks

"Yhh sis I'm good. Thank you's two for whooping that hoe's ass for me. Love y'all man"

"We love you too" they reply in unsion

I get out Laurelle's car and walk towards my house. Once I open the door, I turn around a wave bye to the girls and then close the door.

I walk upstairs and go into my room. Before I even get a chance to sit down my phone vibrates:

Markus: Meesh you good, we need to talk, make sure your at home 6:15pm

At this moment, talking to Markus is the last thing I want to do. Yh he's not fucking her now, but as soon as we broke up he started? Who's to say he wasn't cheating on me then? On top of that why was he entertaining her when she was flirting and smiling and shit. That hoe disrespected me and my baby! How the fuck she even know Markus isn't the dad? Cause Markus telling my business to them hoes, that's why. If I wasn't pregnant, that stupid Gilian or Gilien or whatever her stupid fucking name is woulda died.

As I'm ranting in my mind, tears start falling from my eyes like waterfalls and they're not stopping. I take of my shoes and run a hot bath. The tears are still going. I strip myself from my clothes and get in the bath. My feet are so sore from today and my legs hurt from when that bitch kept punching them.

Meanwhile I sit in the bath, i feeling of butterflies enters my stomach. It feels uncomfortable but that tells me that my little Hope is awake and moving around. Hope starts kicking. These kicks are harder than usual; I guess she's angry at me. Lately she's been awake a lot more. Sleeping in the day with a few kicks, but awake all night with loads of kicks! I guess that's how her sleeping patterns going to be when she's born.

I rest my hand on my belly:

"Heyyy mummy's little angel. I'm so sorry for fighting today. I don't know what came over me. I promise I'll never do it again. I love you so much you don't even understand. I decided to call you Hope because that's what you give me; hope. When I was in a dark place and isolated myself from everything and everyone, you pulled me back. You gave me hope that I could be a good mother, a better bestfriend, daughter, and in general a better and stronger person." Here goes the waterworks again.

"I want you to know that you are everything to me, and even though me and your dad aren't together anymore, your going to perfectly fine. He does stuff that will put you in danger princess and the thought of you getting hurt because of him kills me. He has to change Hope, for the sake of you. I want you to have a good relationship with him but I... I just don't... I"

Me speaking about my daughter and Chris' future makes me break down.

*MARKUS' PERSPECTIVE*

I pull up to Mica's house. She aired my text message so I don't know if she's at home. I take the spare key from under the flowerpot and go in the house.