But Do You Love Me?

chapter seven : How They See It

*MICA'S MUM'S PERSPECTIVE*

Ever since Mica told me she was pregnant, she hasnt been the same. Her whole behaviour has deteriated to a minimum. Its like we all have to step on egg shells around her, one wrong move or word and she explodes, letting all her emotions out towards us! I havent seen her smile in so long, or hear her laugh, or even speak! As her mother i should have faith, but its hard when the person doesnt want help. Laurelle takes her to church every Sunday and Jennifer takes her shopping but its not helping. She's been having terrible mood swings, constant crying, no sleeping, and just staring into thin air.
I cant help, Laurelle and Jennifer cant help... jesus we need you.

*JENNIFER'S PERSPECTIVE*

I dont know who she is anymore. Its like her body is there but her mind isnt. She's clocked out. I miss her so much. I want her to be... well normal again. She doesnt even speak to me anymore. She used to tell me everything but now... now she's put up a wall and i cant see through it. I cant see her.
I have to keep refering to her as "she" because your name is your identity and your personality... and its like she doesnt have one.

*LAURELLE'S PERSPECTIVE*

I dont know about everyone else, but me. I have to have faith. I took her to church on Sunday, i can see in her eyes she wants to reach out to us, im guessing she doesnt know how. Everyday i ask her how she is, i get the same anwser: " just thinking, thinking about... it doesnt matter. Im fine"
If i dont have faith who will?

*CHRIS' PERSPECTIVE*

Okay, i'll admit it, i miss her. More and more everyday. I want to call her, but we need to be apart to think and to prepare ourselves for whats about to come; a child. I love her so much, but now its more of a friendly love. I want to be in the childs life but, the way i live... the stuff i do, i just dont want the child to be involved in it.
Maybe i'm the problem, or maybe she is?

*MICA'S PERSPECTIVE*

Everyone needs to leave me alone. Im fine, i promise. Im trying to be my "old self" again but its hard. The old me was weak, alone, unstable. This was going to happen even if i wasnt pregnant. I need to start again. Re build my confidence but its hard when everyone wants me to be one way.
Jennifer will go shopping and force me to come or Laurelle will take me to church or my mum will tell me to go for a walk. I need to do stuff because i want to do them not because its something everyone thinks i should do? That way i can think better knowing that im getting better because i want to.
Everyone feels like the have to be cautious of me or be careful... like, like im a bomb.
Well if so, i guess i need difusing cause im about to explode.