But Do You Love Me?

chapter twenty-six : Believe Me

*JENNIFER'S PERSPECTIVE*

"...Im so sorry" the doctor says with sympathetic eyes

1 hour earlier

*MICA'S PERSPECTIVE*

"I cant believe Laurelle would do such a thing. Jennifer says quietly with her face in her hands

"I can. Shit, i knew something wasnt right about bitch" CJ says angrily

"But why? Why would she do that. What did she gain?" Jennifer questions looking at CJ

"Cause she's a dumb selfish bitch. The minute I see her will be the end of her. No hesitation"

"CJ chill out man" Jennifer states

"Nah don't tell me to chill, Meesh out here 8 months pregnant with no dad but a great mum who could have died if it wasn't for Markus. If Laurelle knew she was there, why the fuck didn't she tell someone. That's bullshit man!" CJ shouts again

Jennifer just stares at the floor with tears rolling down her cheeks.

I cant sit here and listen to this, it just makes me angrier at myself and sad that my own bestfriend would do this to me.

"Can you guys just call me when the doctor says something I'm going back to Markus' room" I say before getting up and leaving with tears swelling in my eyes.

I walk back into Markus' room to see him asleep in his bed. He looks so uncomfortable so I fix his pillows and cover him up a bit more before carefully sliding in the bed right next to him; going home doesn't seem like an option tonight.

Of course when Markus told me he saw Laurelle at that house I was devastated. It broke my heart into a million pieces. Laurelle was my bestfriend and sister, she meant so much to me. I loved her like she was actually related to me. I would do anything for her because we were just close like that. But after hearing this I dont know how to react or what to say. No words can properly describe exactly how i feel, because i dont even know how i feel? My hearts telling me she would never do such a thing but my minds telling me that she's an evil conniving person that was never actually cared about me.

I had to leave Jennifer and CJ because it hurts too much to think about it or even hear others talk about it! The more I think about it, the more questions I get; but no one can anwser than but her. I blame myself for everything that's going on in my life. I put to much trust in people and expect them to be there when I need them but when shit goes down their nowhere to be seen?
I trusted Laurelle way to much, yh she was my bestfriend but I shouldn't have told her every detail in my messed up life. I should have never gotten involved with a guy in a gang, never put such trust in people, never had unprotected sex regardless of whether I'm on the pill or not!
Im not making it seem like my life's completely trash because its not. I have Markus, my little baby Hope even though she isn't born yet, Jennifer, CJ and the other boys, and my mum. At the moment my life's just not going great and its because of my stupid decisions.

"What are you crying about b?" Markus asks waking up and wrapping his arms around me

Everything. I'm crying about everything!

"Nothing, don't worry about it" i say quietly

Yes I'm lying! But I cant have him worrying about me, I need him to get better quickly! Seeing him here breaks me, especially because its my fault.