S T R E N G T H

chapter 7 : Pregnancy ?

I was slumped over the toilet with tears rolling down my face as I looked at the pregnacy test that said positive . It's like god is giving me reasons to stay with this man , Adding an extra responsibility will do nothing but give me more shit to hold over my head . I didn't want to tell him because I already knew what he would say .

Abortion was never my type of lifestyle , I never had one and never will but right now I stuck in between decisions . I knew there was a reason I woke up every morning sick .

I layed my head back on the wall and just cried , My eyes were red and irritated from me crying all morning looking at these results . This was just so much at one time I just wanted to be stress free right now . 

" wtf you doing on the floor " ash said walking through the bathroom door that I thought had locked . I just lifted up the test and let it talk for itself . His eyes lit up as if he was excited or something . 

" this is good news " he said so awkward .

" how " I said wiping my tears and trying to get up from the floor .

" It's good for my name , A business man and a family man " he said and It really broke my heart , He only wanted his kids for the fame and was only worried about his name and career . This man was sick and needed as much as help possible .

" you going to the doctors tommorow " he said rubbing my back as we walked out the bathroom .  King came and ran up on me .

" Mommy , I want cereal " he said tugging on my pajamas .

" you having a little brother or sister " ash said laying in the bed looking at us . I looked at him and rolled my eyes , Even if he wanted to baby for the career or fame he should've kept it to himself now he's making me think twice about it . If I have a baby that'll be my key to leave and never come back ,  I want him to see his family walk away and leave him by his lonely .

I walked downstairs with King holding my hand and bouncing after every step we took . This little boy has my heart and is the reason I want to keep the baby , I can't imagine killing my baby . It makes me think like what if I would've killed king .. The space that's been open for so long wouldn't have been filled like he did . This baby girl or baby boy will be my strength and lead way to fix my life and fix it the right way so my kids can live a perfect life .

When he was a newborn I would always hold him into my arms and sing him songs . I'm not a singer but the look on his little face when I sang was priceless . I was in love with him and I had him when I was 20 years old . At that time I didn't know who I was and how I was going to take care a baby but it all happened . He was the perfect baby besides the staying up all night by MYSELF feeding him and changing pampers .

I decided to name him King because I wanted him to know that's he's special and will always be my king . Now I need to go to this doctor he stays booking me appointments for , She's rude and always trying to judge me like I won't slap her ass . Her name is Dr.Postassi and she's talk with blonde hair , I think she's Spanish because she has a wet curly type of hair and she has a slight accent . She always greets me & Ash slaying " hola " .

Ash wanted me to go to her last year but I made my way to go to the doctor that I prefer and not these weird was doctors . When my water broke that was like the scariest part of my life , I didn't know what to do and the fact that Ash wasn't there really put the icing on the cake . I drove to that hospital contractions and all that night and had King the next morning , Ash had finally came to the hospital after King was born then left within the next hour .

King's favorite cereal was cinnamon toast crunch like me & we'd eat this almost every morning when I don't cook breakfast . It's hard cooking when you wake up every morning in pain or sick . I filled his bowl up half way and watched the milk poor smoothly in the bowl splashing him in his cute little face .