solitude • kihyun

i n t r o

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"death must be so beautiful. to lie in the soft brown earth, with the grasses waving above one's head, and listen to silence. to have no yesterday, and no to-morrow. to forget time, to forget life, to be at peace."

oscar wilde

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the day was rainy, as it had been for the past few weeks. the unpaved roads splashing mud around as the car's wheels made its way through the secret passages. greenish scenarios around, trees waving with the wind. at this point, all the chaotic city noise had been left behind. you could only listen que quietness and peace that only the country side provides you with.

it was her first time there. she had listened previously about the house and its location but never really visited it. she actually had to look the address in an old agenda, and it was difficult to arrive since that area I did not have signage around.

but she remembered that once she heard that there were was a path of orange trees. and as she drove, she saw them in the distance. the small rounded oranges that gave off a delicious smell.

as she approached the area, she noticed the house, standing tall in a hill and immediately knew she had arrived the right place.

once she parked the car, slowly got outside. the air was dense and humid. it had magically stopped raining but now the trees and exterior structures of the house were damped, small drops of rain falling here and there.

she noticed the lake down the hill and for a moment she sunk in the view. it was definitely an undeniably beautiful.

as she approached the house, she stared at the structure. it was one of those old traditional houses that you see in movies. all built in wood with beautiful ceilings.

she pushed the door open and as expected it was. taking a deep breath she adventured inside as she tried to push away all the sorrow that she was starting to feel in that moment.

for a second she stopped, to remove her shoes. inside the house seemed like any other person's house. the first area was like a common-area, wide living room with access to the kitchen and a hallway with the assumed bedrooms. she counted three doors.

as she walked around the living room, she noticed it had sliding doors. she opened one and it turned out to be big wide windows. the light bathed the place, providing it with a different and much more lighter air.

"no wonder why he loved it here so much." she found herself whispering to herself. she noticed a few books on the coffee table, as well as some used and now dirty cups. a radio, a few paintings, shelves with decorations, two couches and basically it was like any other living room.

she walked towards the hallway and noticed there were three doors. open each one of them she realized there were two bedrooms and one bathroom. the kitchen had a decent medium size with all the essentials and then, she noticed a small door at the back of the kitchen.

curiously she opened it to reveal a door that led to the backyard. in this side of the house there was a better look of the river and a gazebo could be spotted from here. there was a kind of a small harbor with a single boat parked there.

she knew there was lots of work to do but she preffered sleep that day. it was almost 6 p.m and she had been for several hours on the road. she made her way inside and towards the car, to get her suitcase.

as she returned to the house, she stood frozen in the hallway. she didn't know which room to take. she glanced at both, which had the doors opened and realized one probably belonged to him. naturally, she turned around and picked the other one, that seemed more like a guest's room.

the silence that that place provided was almost sepultural. there was a soft buzz that persisted on her ears, that was only overshadowed by the cricket's night song.

even if she fought the intense silence, and the tears, after rolling in the bed for hours, her eyes closed and she fell asleep, with no expectations of the day to come, because all hope was lost just as everything she once possessed. 

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