solitude • kihyun

t h i r t e e n

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yuna frowned as she read the first words. 

18/08/03 

i can't believe i did it. this sucks.

this was never my intention. 

i am the worst. i am the worst. 

things shouldn't have worked out this way.

it wasn't meant to be.

i am sorry. 

y.k.b

"yuna-ssi!?" she jumped, closing the notebook quickly and putting it inside her pockets. sue turned around and found kihyun holding two boxes. 

"ah yes?"

"do you?"

she looked at him confused, tilting her head. "what?"

"do you need help with that box?" he asked, pointing at the box behind her. she glanced at it and finally nodded.

"ah yes, please." she said sealing the box and putting it on his arms, on top of the rest. he smiled sweetly at her and walked out of the room. 

once she realized she was alone, she let out a heavy breath as she felt her heart racing. 

the words she had read in the notebook were kibum's. it had his initials, it was his handwriting and the date coincided with the date he was there, his last days. 

she couldn't help but feel her eyes filling with tears as she read the note over and over again. it was obvious it was a note filled with emotion and sadness. 

she couldn't imagine how he was feeling his last days. everything was so confussing. she just wanted answers. 

in that moment kihyun walked back inside and stared at her with widened eyes. "uh... are you done with the wardrobe?" he asked, scratching the back of his head. kind of putting aside the fact that she was having a moment. 

he didn't want to disturb her but he didn't want to pity her either. she just nodded. "okay. let's pack the bed." he said nodding. yuna walked behind him, wiping the few tears and finally helped him with the bed. 

once the room was done, everything packed and organized, they cleaned and closed it. they took all the boxes to the shed and finally returned inside since it was dark outside already. 

the temperature have dropped dramatically and it was the coldest night since they arrived there. 

"hungry?" kihyun asked but she shook her head. in fact, she was hungry in the afternoon but not anymore. not after reading kibum's note.

it was hard to picture him as a depressed person. especially after they started dating and later on, got engaged. but that note was the note of a depressed person. 

it was obvious he was dealing with stuff that she didn't know. and it hurt her lots to acknowledge this, now, that he was gone. 

she couldn't believe he never trusted her anything of this nature and always kept her out of his very private life. it was inconceivable that they were going to get married and she knew so little about him. that he pictured her this life that didn't exist and she believe everything. 

but yuna still wanted to give him the benefit of the doubt. she still wanted to think that he did all of this for a reason. 

"me neither." kihyun said, sighing. the vibe in the house was gloomy and none of them wanted to eat nor do anything else.