Amputee at heart.

Chapter 8

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I looked up to the door frame to see the oh so framiliar face. 

"We'll leave you two alone..." Jess whispered pushing Mina's chair out of the room. Dr. Cooper followed telling me that he would be back tomorrow for a follow up. I nodded, repositioning myslef to the top of my bed, my back resting on my pillow and my feet infront of me. 

"Hey Sky, I'm sorry to barge in like this. I just really need to talk to you. I'm sorry for what happened the other day, I was just scared that you wouldn't make it and that you would never know how I feel  about you. That would have been something that I would have regretted my whole life. I'm sorry for what it did to you."

"Adam...I never expected you to walk through that door when I woke up. I hadn't talked to you in a few months. I was scared and when you came in all of those unresolved feelings came back and U didn't know how to deal with them. I see to be pushing people away more than I'd like. I'm sorry for getting angry. I'm just scared and I try to put up this though exterior to protect those I love. I feel like I owe them."

"You don't owe anything to anybody," Adam interrupted me. "You don't need to build a wall around yourself, that wall you build will eventually crumble and fall and everything you thought you were hiding will come out. In the end you will just be hurting yourself more. When all of those pent up emotions escape you will regret it." Adam straightened his back and for a moment I thought he was going to leave. However instead of leaving he sat right next to me, laid back and put an arm around my back. My head rested on his chest. 

"So Skyler, tell me all you've been holding up..." 

I chuckled lightly, "It's going to be a long one..." And so I began, from my Father leaving and me feeling like I was to blame for tearing my family apart, to my fight with my mom, and then Josh. Finally I told him about all my insecurities, listing them off one by one, the final being this nub that I was now cursed with. Adam interjected his advice and disagreement when I put myself down, until I hit my insecurities. For each one that I read he sucked in a bit of breath, staying silent. Then he spoke.

"Skyler you talk about being insecure but I'm here to tell you, don't be." He looked down, his gaze catching mine. "When you say you hate your stomach, your thighs ,your nose all I can think of is why. What makes those parts of your body so easy to hate. When you say you feel like the ugly sister, I say you are the sister everyone secretly wants to be. When you say you are a nuisance, I say people care so much about you that they are willing to risk EVERYTHING for you. When you say you aren't happy with your body, I want to tell you to get a better mirror, to stare a little longer because there isn't a single person is this world that isn't jealous. And when you say you feel like giving up, I want to tell you to push that extra mile, because the finish line is just a few steps away. Skyler you are beautiful and I'm so sorry I let you go. I'm sorry I was selfish and I'm sorry I can't make it better. You aren't in any position to take on a relationship, but I want you to know that leaving was the worst thing I ever did and I will wait for the chance to show you I love you. Sky I can't imagine what you are going through, but I want to be someone who helps, and at this point if it means staying away from you, I'll do it. If it means standing by your bed and holding your hand all day, it would be my pleasure." 

I sucked in a deep breath. "Thank you," I was blushing, "I don't know what I want or need from you, all I know is that I don't want you to leave again. Can you promise?"

"I promise."

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The rest of the day passed slowly, I sat quietly in my room sketching and sleeping. A nurse coming in once or twice to check on me and give me more pain medication. It wasn't until after dinner that Jay came in. 

"Hey darlin'," she said plopping down next to my bed and handing me a letter, it came for you a few minutes ago, I told them i'd deliver it. Before you open it though, how was rehab? Mark said you did great."

"It wasn't to bad, I never realized how weak I was until I did some of those tests! But it was great, MIna and Jess were there which was great. I'm pretty sore now, the nurse gave me some extra meds for the pain."

"Glad to here in went well. Want to open the letter?"

I nodded picking up the delicate envelope. I tried sticking  my finger into the small spot where the glue didn't stick to the paper but it kept on falling.

"Here," Jay said reaching for the letter.

"No, I have to do this." Again I tried, failing each time.

"May I just show you something?" Once again Jay reached for the envelope.

"Jay please, I'm trying to do this.

"I just want to show you a trick."

"Jay I have one arm you have both, do you have any idea how jealous I am of that? I don't need to be jealous of your brains too," I snapped," I know you are trying your best but it's hard when I feel like you don't understand what I'm going through."

"Skyler, I'm trying my best, I really am. You're right I don't have the same experiences, but I do have ones that you don't have and I do have training."

"Sorry," I mumbled, slightly embarrassed about my outburst. "Long day."

Jay pulled out a letter opened that held one side of the letter down with one part and sliced through the paper with the other. Making it a one arm job. I hadn't even bothered to read who the letter was from before sliding it out of the packaging.

"Skyler..." it began.

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Elahny :)