Amputee at heart.

Authors Note

Sorry guys! This isn't an update, but there was one yesterday! I just kinda wanted to give you an update on my life right now, just so that you guys have a better understading of why chapters may be late and all that jazz. 

PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE READ OR AT LEAST SKIM THROUGH 

Sooooo I guess first things first is school. I'm schedualed to start grade 10 on September 3ed which will be my first year in high school, which is stressful by it's self. However the teachers in my province (I live in Canada FYI) are on a labour strike. They have been since mid June. This means that they will not hold classes until the union strikes a deal with the provincial government. Right now it's not looking good, I more that likely will not be going back until late september. But it's all up in the air, so i likely wont know when I'm going back until just a few days before, giving me little to no prep. Also means the first day will not be just the grade 10's when we would get our scheduals. It will be everyone. Which terrifies me since I have social anxiety and I'm OCD. 

Secondly This is the first year I have stood up for being bullied. I've been bullied from the first day in grade 2 and up until this year I was too afraid to speak up. I ended up showing a woman I really trust some of the texts I had received in the past years and worked my way from grade 8 to grade 2. I cried alot, these girls robbed me of my self confidants and took away my ability to speak. I was horrified by so much, not being accepted, getting those texts again, being shoved in the hallways again, everything. So this year I have finally gotten my voice back, which may be a reason why I am able to write this story. 

Thirdly I lost my Aunt and Oma (Grandmother) a few years ago but within a 9 month period. These amazing women were my insiration and the only people I could always count on to support me, and when I lost them it tore me apart. Both of their deaths were sudden and I never did get a chance to say goodbye which I guess is one of the reasons why I still struggle with the fact that they are gone. Sometimes it hits me really hard and strange times and I'll just break down. Its happened in class before, sometimes at night, in the shower you name it. It's hard to write this book about grief while I'm going through it, and sometimes I feel like I am just so pathetic for still crying about them. Sometimes I feel like I've taken far to long, but then I'm reminded of a memory I had with them and it brings me right back to the begining. 

I guess fourthly (?) This is the first summer my Mum has had off in 7 years so I'm trying really hard to spend time with her. And by not having the summer off I mean she was on the other side of the country for 7 summers while I was growing up, so both of us are trying to catch up on missed times. 

Gosh I can't think of anything else I really want to spill right now, I really hope you guys took the time to read over this, or at least skimmed over it. 

Thank you so much for your support

Love you all to bits!

Elahny