Amputee at heart.

Chapter 4

I woke up in a groggy, dazed, confused state. Rolling over and almost screaming in pain when the nub felt the pressure of my body. "Careful," I hear from my right side, I jumped so high trying to fingthe voice. "Morning," I felt a hand grab mine and I finally saw the face, Josh. "Morning," I replied my morning voice making me sound like a frog. "How's it going kiddo?" 

"Oh you know, just missing a limb, I pushed Adam away, Mum won't talk to me, and I angry with myself. I want to blame someone but I can't, I have no one to blame. Not Mum, not you, not even dad." 

"Wait, you pushed Adam away? what did he say?" 

"He told me he still loved me, he wanted to start fresh. I told him I couldn't do anything now. I feel like I may have just lost him forever. I don't think we are even friends anymore."

"He's just a bit upset, this whole thing is crazy and hard on him-"

"Hard on him? Hard on him? I spent the past few moths missing him and thinking he hated me, thinking we could never be friends. He comes back the moment i'm injured and tells me he loves me. It's like he didn't even realize I was oign through so much. It was so selfish."

"Sky, I know this isn't where you pictured yourself, but this is your life right now, your life for the rest."

"I don't need this talk right now, I need my big brother, not someone who only cares about being the fatherly figure. I need my brother!" I was so angry, why couldn't he be who I needed.  

"God Sky! I've tried nothing but good things to help make your life as normal as possible-"

"NORMAL, you call this normal? I was raised by my older brother, my mother was always slightly ashamed of me, I made Dad leave, I'm the reason. I've been the sad, dissapointing child in our family that everyone felt sorry for becasue they knew I wasn't as good as the rest! So dont go around telling me you tried to make it normal." By now my voice was cracking and tears of anger were cascading down my face. 

"Skylar I'm sorry I wasn't perfect. I gotta go, I'll see you later." With that the single most important person in my life walked out. Once again I Skylar Grace Lawrence pushed someone I loved away. I screwed up again, in the worst point in my life I pushed my big brother Josh away. With that I laid my head back down and cried myself asleep for god knows how many times in the past day. 

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I was awoken my Jay's friendly voice and hand rubbing my right shoulder. "Hi, darling. How are you doing? I brought some food, the kitchen just closed up after lunch." She pulled up a bed side table and placed a tray with jello, salad and chicken strips on it. "Thanks," I say taking a bite of salad. I pick up my fork and look at the chicken, then back down the the knife. I try to cut the chicken with the side of my fork but it didnt work. I tried to cut it with my one hand. "Oh my God, You've got to be kidding me! I cant freaking do anyhting!!! I can't do this. Damn it!" I slammed the knife back onto the tray, violently pushing it away almost causing it to topple over onto the floor. "Here," Jay said taking the knife and fork in her hands, moving towards cutting them, "No, don't bother, I don't want any help..."

"Skylar can I ask you a question?"

"Do I have a choice," I replied rolling my eyes.

"How would you feel talking to two girls that were patients here a few years ago? They have similar injuries, I feel like it could be good for you" 

"What like some cheesy therapy session with some over positive freaks who think this is a 'Great oportunity for us'? No thanks."

"Please Sky? The girls who I am talking about are just like you, angry, upset, they don't think it's the best thign that's ever happened to them, but they aren't depressed or anyhting. I think you should give it a chance."

"If I go does that mean I'm alowed to get up and go outside and get closer to getting out of this hell compound."

"If by hell you mean this rehabilitaion clinic then yes yes you can. I'll give you one of their numbers and you can call to set up a time. I'll give you Mina's number, I think you two will really connect." She wrote down the number on a card and handed it to me. "Call her."

"I will Jay, I will." Jay left the room waving slightly and smiling. I replied with a smile, the first one i had really meant since the accident. I shuffled under the covers more before reaching over to the bed side and picking up the hospital phone. I fumbled trying to type in the number Jay wrote down. Once I had the number correctly into the phone I sat contemplating whether or not to press call. If i called, would that mean I was moving on? Was I ready to move on? Was I not taking enough time to do the recovering I needed. I never let myself answer the question, I knew the road of my recovery was going to be long, stressful and my life would never be the same. The sooner I started, the sooner I could go back to school, I could be home, I could have my life back to some extent! That's all I wanted! The phone began to ring, One, two, three. "Hello?"

"Hi, is this Mina?"

"Yes, may I ask who's speaking?"  The voice was calm and smooth.

"My name is Skylar, I'm a patient at Royal Memorial Hospital. Dr.Jay Kennith. She gave me your number...I hear you have this therapy session thing and she said I may find it helpful. She gave me your number and well I guess she wanted us to meet up with the other girl and talk. If not that's totally fine, I get both of you are going though stuff, actually I don't know what it is but I'm sure its hard. Not that you aren't strong ! I'm just saying," my ramble was interuped by Mina.

"hahah, don't worry! How's about we meet you in your room later, maybe around three?"

"That sound great! I'm in room 307 I think..." I strained trying to see the number that was plastered on the door, "Yep, room 307! I'm gonna warn you, I look a little rough." I let out a dry laugh.

"I'm sure you don't. You're in the hospital, I dont expect you to look like the next top model! I'll see you later today! Look forward to meeting you!"

"Bye!" I hung up the phone letting out  a relaxed sigh and placing the phone on my lap. It was noon according to the clock on the wall. I had time for a nap before Mina came. 

Not an hour later, I woke up, I had to pee. How the hell was this going to work?

Kinda a heavy chapter? I tried to add some fun stuff in, I hope it worked! I love all of you and I'm really happy with all of the progress and all that jazz :) Thank you so much you guyssss! 

Love your faces!

Elahny! :)