Amputee at heart.

Chapter 1

I laid my head back down onto the hospital bed, my hand resting on the gauze covered nub. My hand stroked it, I winced slightly as I pushed on a sensitive part. It's gone, it's really gone. There was a knock at my door. the gentle tapping against the door echoed through the hospital room as my head strained to see the knockers face. Before long my eyes caught the gaze of my mother's, she was in a wheel chair and her hands gripped the wheels as she cautiously manouvered into the room. Tears cascaded down her face as a slow sob escaped my lips. My Mum moved to my right avoiding the machinery around the room. She held my right hand stroking it softly and kissing my hand. Another sob escaped my lips, this one louder than the first. "shh," she soothed never making eye contact.

"Mum," I stared choking on my words, "Mum I'm broken," that was all I could say.

"I know baby, I know. I'm so sorry, i should have slowed down. I should have paid more attention," she tried to stop a cry but it came out, muffled and hurt. She looked up, her blue eyes were empty and glassy. She quickly let my hand go and started to roll away. I tried to tell her to stop but I couldn't she raced out of the room stopping at the door to look back, "I'm so sorry."

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I was alone, my mother held herself accountable for my condition. My brother and sister lived across the country and were so busy with schooling I never really heard from them. My father hadnever been in the picture, he left before I was born. He blamed my Mum for eveything, said he was ashamed he had ever gone out with her, that she messed everything up by becoming pregnant, that he wanted the child aborted, that i would be messed up....I suppose now he is right. I'm messed up, I'm missing a limb, my left arm is gone, it will never come back, I'll always miss it.

The moment I realized this the tears came back and my eyes closed. This was nothing but a nightmare! It's all a bad dream, I'll wake up and my mum will soothe me and rub my back. Then I will go back to school and evrything will be normal. This is what I tried to convince myself, it wasn't real. But when I opened my eyes to reveal a tall woman with a clipboard eyeing me and taking notes I knew this was real.

"Hello Skyler," the woman spoke, "I'm a grief counselor here at the hospital, my name is Dr. Kennith but feel free to call me Jay." she smiled and grabed a chair pulling it next to my bed. "How are you?" she asked, repositioning the clipboard on her lap. I shrugged looking down and picking at the blanket. "are you scared?" she asked. I nodded my head yes slowly as a tear dripped from my eye. "Can you tell me what's wrong?" As if she didn't know i thought to myself. I pulled the blanket off of my left shoulder revealing the bandage that had small blood stains on it, i nodden towards it. "ahh, I see," Jay said scribbling something down on the paper. "Have you seen your mother yet?" That hit a sore point, I let out a cry and covered my face with my right hand. "Oh, hunny, I'm sorry." she said rubbing my arm. The protective touch of her hand led me to release every thing. "No, im not okay!" I said raising my voice slightly, "I'm a freak! I'm missing my left arm because of some stupid accident. I thought I was a freak at shcool before this. Now? Im never going to be accepted! I wont be able to do anyhthing! No one wants to hang out with a freak! My own mother couldnt even spend more than 5 minutes with me! I have no one..." I stopped... No one... thats what I have.

"Skyler," Jay started to say but I cut her off.

"I'm sorry but I'm not ready to talk about this right now, i appriciate it but no thanks." At this point in a movie the girl would have gotten up and left leaving the victim confused and wondering, but I was stuck in this bed. Wating for Jay to leave. Please i willed her using my head, please go. she never did.

"I understand if you dont want to talk right now, but maybe this will change your mind," she quickly got up, shooting me a smile before leaving the room. momentaraly I relaxed thinking she was gone but I was wrong. "When you said you had no one, why didnt you mention these people?" she gestured to the people behind her. Six faces I knew all to well. SIx faces I had dreamed of seeing since the moemnt I woke up.

Heeeeeeey. Chapter 1? What did you guys think? Sorry for any errors... spelling and grammer and not my strong suits :) Would you guys do the honor of voting and commenting on this story? it would mean the world to me :) I hope y'all liked it and are exited for the next chappy which will be up soon.

Stay beautiful :)

Elahny