tutor • donny pangilinan

Epilogue

Epilogue | Sierra

One Year Later.

Opening the door of my dorm room, I sighed as I thought of how draining my day was. Left and right requirements that should be passed today. Luckily, I was able to do it. I spent my whole night doing those papers, not gonna lie, it was pretty stressful.

Honestly, I don't know how I survive every bit of it but really, I'm trying to survive it. Ginusto ko 'to eh, kailangan kong panindigan. Bakit mo kasi iniwan si Donny? Damn, back to this again.

It's been a year. Damn year. A damn year since the last time I spoke to Donny. Hindi pa rin ako nakakamove-on. Sa totoo lang, pinagsisihan kong iwan ang Pilipinas para sa mga pangarap ko. Pinagsisihan kong iniwan ko si Donny. Don't get me wrong though, but I'm really blessed of what I've been achieving and I couldn't be more thankful.

But... I wonder. No, I thought, about what my life was if I stayed. My life would be different, I thought.

For the past year, I've been stuck with these 'what ifs' inside my head. What if I stayed. What if we worked things out. We should've been hanging-out right now. We should've been dating already, lol hoping. We should've laughing right now about how we didn't get along few years in high-school. We should've been chilling, talking and reminiscing great memories back in high-school. What if I stayed. Maybe, things were different.

"Tanga mo rin kasi Sierra." I muttered as I run my fingers through my wavy hair. Later on, I gave in on my bed.

I hate it when I'm alone. I always overthink about things. Especially when it comes to Donny, which is the most dumb thing I ever do. Iniisip ko kung kamusta na siya, kung may girlfriend na siya o kahit kung may pinupormahan ganun. Pero ewan, siya lang makakasagot 'nun. If ever I send him a DM or something, I knew he won't notice it. Sa dami ba naman ng fans niya, siguro matatakpan na message ko. If ever I send one.

I took out my phone and laptop from my bag. I plugged in my headphones and listened to Sleep On The Floor by The Lumineers. I got myself busy with a paper I need to pass on a subject. Thankfully, I finished proofreading it.

I closed the tabs in my laptop and I froze seeing my desktop wallpaper. It was a picture of me and Donny at the library, when we were still having our lessons. Sounds cheesy but I like it, it keeps me motivated aside from my family who keeps cheering me up when I'm down.

I tried changing my wallpaper, pero hindi ko kaya mga bes. Kaiyak. I tried moving on pero ayaw.

I pursed my lips as I was tempted to go on the internet and search some latest interviews Donny had. This was something that I did to keep up with his life, to see how he's doing and to see how far he'd become. I'm happy for him that he's living his dreams. He never failed to surprise me.

Starting from when he joined MYX as a VJ, to some few TV appearances, interviews, news, magazines and more. As I go through my laptop, I also went to his Instagram and Twitter to see his latest post. Yep, I stalk him.

I followed him on his social media accounts, but I never got a follow back. I'm not expecting one since he receives a lot of notifications in a day. I wonder how his phone manages to calm from all those notifications from fans.

After a while of stalking his Instagram, I went back to my laptop and went to a site where I can watch ABS-CBN shows, then something captured me. It was Donny on GGV.

I didn't hesitate to click it and stop to whatever song I'm listening to right now, my mind is occupied at the moment. I click play and started watching it. He was with Ricci Rivero and Ronnie Alonte.

Grabe naman, walang pinagbago si Donny. Ang pogi-pogi niya pa rin.

As I keep on watching, Vice Ganda asked something that really made me listen to it carefully.

"Ikaw, Donny? May girlfriend?" Vice Ganda through the screen. Fans were squealing, screaming or whatever they're doing. Typical fans.

"Wala. Wala po." he answers politely, "Pero, there's this girl before that I like."

"Siguro naman, Donny 'no. Nagkagusto kana sa babae." Vice stated.

He shrugged.

"Pero hindi mo naging jowa?"

He shook his head, "Hindi 'eh."

"Ah, yung parang kayo pero hindi naman?"

He shrugs again, "Parang ganun na nga." The audience 'awe' from what he said. Lol, ba't na trigger ako dun.

I don't know if he is referring to me or someone after me or what pero grabe. Triggered lol k bye.

I finished watching the video and exited it. I sighed, closing my laptop.

I thought, in a few months, I'll be home. The first few holidays, I spent it here. Hindi pa ako nakakauwi ng Pilipinas simula nung unang alis ko. Miss na miss ko na nga pamilya ko. I just hope someday soon, lilipat na rin sila dito kasama ako. Kasi naman, wala na rin akong babalikan ng Pilipinas.

I'll be home soon. But it doesn't feel like home.

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okkk i was thinking of writing a book 2 so much feels 😂😭 idk. what do you think of a book 2?? go for it or nah?

btw, ngayon ko lang talaga siya naisip pero idk. i told myself to write a sad ending pero i want to write something about what will happen afterwards, pero ewan 😭😭 tell me guys if i should do it or not (: