Have Faith In Us ✅

23

I rub Grayson's hand with my thumb, feeling exhausted as I lie in the hospital.

I'm never doing that again.

The doctor steps in, but without our little boy. I guess the nurses are still taking care of him.

"Mr.Allen, may I see you for a second?" The doctor asks.

"Of course." Grayson kisses my head then walks out of the room with him.

Emily smiles at me. "I can't believe you've had a baby."

"I know." I smile.

Gray walks back in with a sullen face. He sits next to me and holds my hand.

"Darling..." He whispers.

"Where's he?"

"I don't know how to say this..."

"What?" I lose my smile. "They need him for a bit longer? That's fine."

"You had a miscarriage."

"Huh?" I croak out, and Emily cups her hand over her mouth.

"It's not your fault. It's no one's fault. It happens to lots of women. We just got unlucky. Okay?" Tears prick his eyes.

I slump back on my bed and I can taste the salt of my tears on my lips.

"I'm so sorry, Faith." Emily says, but I don't listen. I don't listen to Grayson trying to comfort me. I don't listen to mine and Gray's parents coming in, them trying to comfort me as well.

I just stare at my hands. I look over at Grayson and whisper in his ear.

"Could you tell everyone to leave?" I croak out. "I want some privacy with just you."

"Of course, Faith." Grayson turns to everyone. "Alright, we need a moment alone, please."

My mom hugs me then walks out with the rest.

"Why us?"

"What do you mean?" Grayson strokes my hair as he sits next to me on the bed.

"Why does it have to happen to us? We had the nursery prepared, the name, we were so excited. And then this happens."

"Hey, it's just bad luck. And once we get married and settle down, we can try again."

"I guess..." I rest my head on his shoulder.

"And we'll get through it." Grayson starts choking up. "Together. I promise."

"Don't cry." I reach up and wipe his falling tears. "Just remember I love you."

«🎀»

I lie down on bed and stare at the wall, waiting for Grayson to come back from the first team meeting of the year.

They offered for me to come back as physical therapist, but I politely declined. I decided to pick up on dance this year, and dance not to impress, but to let out emotion, like Martha Graham once did.

There's a knock at the front door, but I stay still. Then there's a melodic three knocks, and I know who it is.

I collapse into Shawn's outstretched arms once he steps inside. I cry into his chest and he rubs my back, slowly.

"Shh, Fe. It's gonna be okay." He plants a kiss on the top of my head.

I eventually run out of tears and step away. "I've drenched your shirt. Sorry."

"Ah, its cold." Shawn smiles then takes it off. "Could you wash it?"

"Yep." I grab the grey shirt and walk into the washroom, shoving the shirt in and starting the washer.

I walk back to the living room and lie with Shawn on the couch, his arms wrapped around me, as we watch Gilmore Girls.

Even though practice is over in one more hour, Grayson walks in.

"Hey Fa- why the hell is there a half naked boy lying on the couch with you?" He asks.

"It's Shawn, Gray."

"You broke up with him."

"Oh my gosh, we were faking, remember?"

"Yet you're still lying in the couch with him while his arms are wrapped around you while I'm away at practice?" Grayson starts to raise his voice.

I roll my eyes. "He's a friend."

"Looks like a friend with benefits to me!"

"Sometimes... you just have to have faith in me, Grayson."

"But what if I can't?"

"Then you'll have to leave."

"Fine. I'll get an apartment with one of the guys."

"Are you fucking serious?"

"Yep. It's normal for couples to split when they lose a baby. So, bye. I'll start packing." Grayson walks into our room.

"He's such a damn idiot." I sit back on the couch.

Shawn rests his hand on my shoulder. "Want me to talk to him?"

"No, he hates you. He'll just start a fight."

"Okay... well, I guess I should go. You two better get back together."

I give him a tight, forced smile then he grabs his shirt from the washing machine and leaves.

"Grayson James! Come here right fucking now!" I yell.

Grayson walks in. "What?" He's already yelling. Shocker.

"You better fucking stay. I won't let you leave me."

"I had to deal with all of your bull shit when you were pregnant, I don't wanna deal with it anymore. We lost our child, so it's a sign we shouldn't be together."

"It was a sign that it's too early for us to have a kid!"

"I'm leaving!"

"You'll be back!"

Grayson clenches his fists then walks out, slamming the door. I collapse onto the couch and bury my face in my hands.

I made a huge mistake.