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Witness-Protection Program

WildHoe: so no one told you life was gonna be this way

Zoyrk: *clap clap clap clap*

Moo: your job's a joke

Legiqn: you're broke

BirthingCoach: your love life's DOA

FuckBoi: it's like you're always stuck in second gear

WildHoe: when it hasn't been your day

BirthingCoach: your week

FuckBoi: your month

Lui: or even your year

DaithiDeNoPrivilege: but

ChokingIsMyKink: I'll be there for you

Four07: when the rain starts to pour

FuckBoi: I'll be there for you

Moo: like I've been there before

Zoyrk: I'll be there for you

WildHoe: cause you're there for me too

---

Legiqn: guys I don't mean to be insensitive but we need to figure out a way to move on

Legiqn: we need to try

BirthingCoach: moving on means forgetting, and I never want to forget, I want to just stay in my blanket and cry and feel the pain

Legiqn: moving on does not mean forgetting, it means accepting and letting go of all your negative thoughts, we are going to carry Evan's memory along

WildHoe: you didn't even know Evan

WildHoe: you weren't there for him this whole time

WildHoe: you didn't have four am conversations with him

WildHoe: you didn't cancel a date with your boyfriend because he was having a panic attack he needed your help

WildHoe: you weren't Evan's friend, quit acting like you were

Legiqn: I was just as much of his friend as you were

WildHoe: what's his favorite color

Legiqn: dark red

WildHoe: what color were his eyes

Legiqn: dark brown

WildHoe: what was his order at Chick-fil-A

Legiqn: who tf knows that

WildHoe: twelve piece chicken nuggets, three BBQ containers, large fries, a cup halfway filled with ice and filled with brisk raspberry tea

ChokingIsMyKink: twelve piece chicken nuggets, three BBQ containers, large fries, a cup halfway filled with ice and filled with brisk raspberry tea

BirthingCoach: twelve piece chicken nuggets, three BBQ containers, large fries, a cup halfway filled with ice and filled with brisk raspberry tea

FuckBoi: twelve piece chicken nuggets, three BBQ containers, large fries, a cup halfway filled with ice and filled with brisk raspberry tea

Lui: twelve piece chicken nuggets, three BBQ containers, large fries, a cup halfway filled with ice and filled with brisk raspberry tea

DaithiDeNoPrivilege: twelve piece chicken nuggets, three BBQ containers, large fries, a cup halfway filled with ice and filled with brisk raspberry tea

BasicallyIGetFucked: twelve piece chicken nuggets, three BBQ containers, large fries, a cup halfway filled with ice and filled with brisk raspberry tea

Moo: twelve piece chicken nuggets, three BBQ containers, large fries, a cup halfway filled with ice and filled with brisk raspberry tea

Terroriser: twelve piece chicken nuggets, three BBQ containers, large fries, a cup halfway filled with ice and filled with brisk raspberry tea

WildHoe: Every. Fucking. Time.

WildHoe: don't ever pretend that you knew Evan, because you didn't

LuKe: y'all are really out here making me emotional

JigglyKoala: I've never seen a friend group so close

BryceTimDs: wow luke is actually crying you have melted his heart of ice

WildHoe: we miss Evan

Legiqn: and he would want you to move on

---

Now showing private messages between FuckBoi and Legiqn

FuckBoi: um

FuckBoi: do you think you could think about my friends' feelings a bit more? Please?

Legiqn: stop being such a baby, Lucas

Legiqn: Evan is dead, get over him

FuckBoi: I spent a lot of time with Evan, he was one of my really close friends and he made me happy

Legiqn: do I not make you happy, Lucas? Would you prefer I make depressing jokes all the time and then kill myself too? Is that what you want for all your boyfriends?

FuckBoi: that's not what I said

Legiqn: get over him, Lucas, he's dead and your focus should be on me, because I'm alive

FuckBoi: you're being a real jerk

Legiqn: say that one more time I dare you Lucas

Legiqn: trust me when I say I'll make you regret it

FuckBoi: I'm sorry

Legiqn: I don't think you are

FuckBoi: I am!

Legiqn: I think I'm long over due for visiting you, don't you think, Lucas?

FuckBoi: please don't hurt me anymore

Legiqn: I won't hurt you Lucas

Legiqn: I'll teach you a lesson

FuckBoi: please don't

Legiqn: you know what to say

FuckBoi: please, daddy, I promise I'll be good, I won't give you anymore attitude, promise

FuckBoi: i promise I'll be good

Legiqn: stop your crying I can hear your sobs from here

FuckBoi: I'm sorry

Legiqn: you should be

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