CheckMate || BBS Crew

;: 91 :;

LOCATION: Brian and Evan's Apartment

TIME: 10:03 A.M.

The couple sat on opposite ends of the couch, their knees almost touching as they faced one another, avoiding the other's gaze. Evan held his injured hand close to his chest, paranoid of hitting the cast against anything, snuggled up in a hoodie that was two sizes too big for him. Brian was in a pair of pajama bottoms and his shirt from the night before.

"I think we should talk about it." Brian broke the silence, looking up at his boyfriend. "Even if its not what we want to do right now." He waited a few seconds, hoping that Evan would say something. "Ev, I...I'm sorry, okay? I know that you're....and you have strict boundaries and-"

Evan held up his uninjured hand. "It's okay. Let's just move past it for now, okay?"

"No, Evan, this is something we need to talk about."

His boyfriend looked up, meeting his gaze. Evan's eyes were slightly glazed over, most likely from the medication they had been sent home with for his pain, and his expression had a strain to it that made Brian feel even more guilty. "Look, Brian, we hooked up, okay? It's fine. I'm fine. We don't have to talk-"

"Evan-"

"Holy shit, okay. Look, I just- It's hard to say, okay? Obviously, I have feelings about it, but, maybe not in the way you think, okay? I just...I need a little time to sort through my thoughts."

"Is that why you locked yourself in the bathroom earlier? Because it's not healthy to keep it in like this, Evan. I don't want you to say anything you're uncomfortable with, but I need you to tell me if you're uncomfortable, okay? I don't even understand how it happened, but it happened, and I don't want to just sweep this under the rug, okay? I know its important to you and-"

Brian continued to talk as Evan stared down at where their knees brushed against one another. He blinked back a few tears, half-listening to Brian and half-trying to find the words to say what was really on his mind.

"Please say something, Evan. Because I really do like you and I don't want this to end because of-"

"I really like you too!" Evan couldn't stand another second of Brian's guilty ramblings. He took a deep breath, grabbing one of Brian's hands to get his boyfriend's focus. "Obviously, I really like you. Quite frankly, I'm shocked by how much I like you and like being around you and talking with you and- fuck it thats not the point, okay? The point is, I know how I feel about us hooking up, and it kind of scares me." Evan paused, scanning Brian's face for some kind of reaction.

"I don't think I understand."

"That's okay! Um, fuck, this is kinda hard for me to say, but, I didn't mind it, okay?"

"What?"

"I...I liked it. Enjoyed it, I guess is a better way to say it."

"...Are you...?"

"Yeah, yeah, I'm sure. I woke up and once I saw you and realized what happened I wasn't hit with this wave of guilt and panic and self-hatred like all the times before....instead I....I just felt so happy to be next to you...and with you. Even after spending the whole night in the hospital! And then I realized that I didn't mind it at all, thats when I panicked, because what the fuck does that mean? For years, I've thought myself as this one way, and now it's like I don't even know myself, you know? I...I just- I don't..."

Brian scooted closer to Evan, picking up on all the signs of his panic. "It's okay. That's okay, Evan. People change all the time, it doesn't change your past experiences. It's good to talk about this, okay? Even if you don't understand. You don't even have to understand! Sexuality is a huge spectrum-even asexuality!"