Life of A College Boy(boyxboy) *Book 3*(ON HOLD UNTIL FURTHER NOTICE)

Chapter 18

I couldve swore that chapter 18 was a draft but it was not. So i have to rewrite it now. Can't find it on my laptop.

Also if you would like to ask the characters some questions, Leave them in the comments below and i'll post the responses after this book ends.

***

"What do I do?" I asked myself looking at the napkin.

"Do with what?" 

I looked up and shoved the napkin in my pocket as Trey approached. He dropped his bag at his feet and sat on at the table while giving me a kiss. 

"Nothing. Just don't know what to do with bag. Its so heavy." 

"Tell me about it. Who knew college would be so boring." 

"Well break is coming up so hopefully we'll be well rested. I can't wait to sleep in with you." I said leaning on his shoulder.

"Awe, you're sweet today."

"As opposed to?" I replied sitting up staring at him.

"Don't start." He warned with a smile. I rolled my eyes and smiled back. 

How could life be this perfect?...No, its not. Kyle. Life isn't perfect or fair. What happened? I couldn't tell Trey. Kyle would've told him if he wanted him to know. Kyle wouldn't of written it down on a napkin and left if he wanted anybody to know. Poor Kyle.

I understand how he feels but I don't understand why he didn't tell me first thing. Was I not as good of friend as I thought?

"Trey, y'know how that guy came at me in the bathroom that one day?"

"Is he bothering you again?! I swear i'll kill the motherfucker."

"No, you scared him off. I was just wondering, if anything did happen...Where would I go to get help? Like the nurse or..."

"Did he hurt you?"

"No. Just wanted to know the protocol for situations like that."

"Well, I would guess if he had raped you, you would go to the nurse or the counselor to report..."

"Oh..." I don't think Kyle wants anyone to know.

"Or they have the anonymous line."

"Anonymous? Really."

"Yeah,  I don't know how well that works since y'know, they'll probably need evidence or something."

"Yeah. Well thanks for being my little campus encyclopedia. You really know everything there is huh?"

"Yep, thats me. Just knowing stuff is part of the deal." He said with a smirk and puffed out chest.

"You're so full of it, i'll see you later okay? I gotta go get Kyle out of bed." 

"Good luck with that. Even the dead don't sleep as long as him."

I smiled and headed off to Kyle's dorm. I hope I can at least convince him to put in a complaint. Or at least talk to someone.

-

Kyle

I was shaking in a cold sweat. The nightmare happened again. It wouldn't go away and it just felt like I was trapped. No matter what I did it wouldn't leave. The memories were starting to happen during the daylight too.

I would be having a good time and then a certain word or smell would come up and I would remember. I hated them. I loathed them. I could never escape them. Was this how it will be the rest of my life? I wished I hadn't gone to that party. I wished I hadn't been so stupid and naive. I should have known what was going to happen. I should have left.

I should have...

That night.

I was so happy. I was laughing and having fun. I was getting over Seth and people actually liked me. They were dancing with me and taking pictures and videos. They were taking selfies with me. Nobody thought I was obnoxious or weird.

So why did it happen to me?

Why couldn't it have been anybody else? I was not the type. I was not the popular girls. I was not the shy cute girls. I was not attractive at all. So why me?

Going over the events of the night once more, I tried to figure out where it had all gone wrong. Why was it me?

The party was in full swing when I arrived. I was slightly nervous because I was alone. Matthew was busy with Trey and his drama. He didn't even care that Seth had dumped me. I didn't want to get back with Seth. I just wanted a friend. Someone who would listen to me and encourage me. But Matthew wasn't that friend. He would just rather force things together until he thought it was fixed.

I just wanted to forget. So I drank. I wasn't getting as nervous anymore. I didn't need a buddy with me. I was fine. People kept giving me more drinks. I was dancing and laughing. We were playing beer pong and quarters. I was losing but it was okay. It was fun. That was until the party moved into a room.

They made a smoke circle and offered me some pot, but I refused. I have no idea how I got into the room. I have no memory or going up the stairs. Did I just blindly follow a group of guys?

I can't remember much except that I was on my back. I'm trying so hard to remember the pieces, but I keep coming up with blanks. When I had woken up the next morning, I was alone.

My clothes were scattered amongst beer bottles and cigarette butts. My throat hurt, I had bruises all over, and my backside was stinging. I moved slow and tried to ignore the pain. I was hurting so much I had to drink just to be able to tough it out enough to walk home.

I had thought these people were my friends but they weren't. I wasn't sure what to do next. I wanted to call Matthew but he wouldn't answer. He was to wrapped up in soccer and Trey, and school. I realized then that he was my only friend. I had no one else.

I decided to just pretend nothing happened. I went home, washed up, and went back to sleep. I tried to smile but I couldn't. Everywhere I looked I wondered if it was him. Or them. Did they know? Did they watch? Did they care? Why didn't anyone help me?

I guess I shouldn't have gone alone.

-

The knocking on the door scared the crap out of me. I slowly and quietly walked over. I listened and jumped as the person knocked again. After a minute of deciding they weren't going to leave I opened the door a crack. Matthew was standing there waiting with a knowing look on his face. I opened the door and he held his arms open. I started crying and held on tight to him. He didn't say anything because he knew, and he told me it would be okay. Eventually.

***

So I found the second part on my computer and just combined it together. This does kind of stem from my own experience with trauma. A certain word or name could be brought up in a conversation and I just can't deal with it. I would feel a lot of negative emotions and memories just come up and I wonder how I could have said or done something different to change the outcome but I know that I can't.

It sucks because you can't change it. I'm not the type to forgive and forget so I try to just remember only good memories. hopefully i'll live with it someday. When i'm older and ready. But for now, it goes into my writing.