The Bad boy's Mistake | kmg

24.

     "I miss you,"

     The eyes that I oh, so love were looking at me and are filled with nothing but sadness. No one uttered a word, it was a couple of seconds before I decided to break the silence. Even the guys in the living room were quiet all of a sudden.

     "What for? For all I know, you just used me as past time,"

     Even though I raised my voice, he didn't flinch at all. He looked at me with the same sad expression and melancholic eyes.

     "You know that's not true.." he whispers and it's evident that he drank a lot because he reeks of alcohol.

     I wanted to be mad. I wanted to stay mad. But I knew in my heart that I was also mad at myself. I wasn't there when he needed someone. He went through all of that alone and now that he's leaning on me, I decided to walk away. I knew it was the right thing to do. I decided it was the right thing to do. Staying with him meant I had to endure a lot, risk everything and probably lose some too. In the end, what really is the right thing to do?

     "What's true then? You dating other girls? Do you take me for a fool, Kim Mingyu? I already know everything and we have nothing to talk about."

     I tried to end the conversation then and there but he grabbed my hand to stop me from walking away. I'm holding my onto my last resolve. I shouldn't be swayed. No, I shouldn't.

     He remained silent while looking at me and listened to everything I had to stay. All this vent up anger and frustrations are starting to get loose. I never meant for me to vent it out. I was doing a good job keeping it to myself but Mingyu is making all of this so hard for me.

     "You will never know how it feels to be hesitant when it comes to trusting and opening yourself up to other people with the thought that they may hurt you back," I spoke in a very low voice so that it was the only the two of us that could hear.

     I wanted to be there for him back then but I couldn't. I was away and had no idea he was going through that. We lost contact naturally and I know I shouldn't blame myself.

     But, despite me wanting to make it up to him for the lost time, I can't find myself holding his hand again. I can't put my heart on the line again.

     He held both of my arms and inched closer. "I won't ever hurt you, Nari."

     I try to get out from his grip but he just held on tighter. Him holding onto to me like this will only make it hard for me to let go of him.

     "You already did. Seeing you with Hayoung made me realize that leaving you was worth it." No, Nari, you don't mean that.

     It came out as a shock because he flashes out a very surprised look when he heard what I said.

     "Woman, you don't know how much it took me to get you out of my head especially seeing my fucktard of a brother get so close to you!" He replied back. This time, I was the one who remained silent.

     This was the first time he ever told me about Jungkook and it looks like he already expected that I already knew about it so he went on with what he was saying.

     "That should've been me, Nari. From the start, that should've been me."

     I felt the weight of his words as he spat daggers towards my heart. Remembering Taehyung's story, I remember Mingyu's sentiments towards his brother and his father.

     However, the pain and the fear still consumes me. Is he saying all this because he meant it or is it the alcohol speaking? We never know. I chose to believe in him but the moment I slipped past his grasp, he went back to the place I never wanted him to go to. In the arms of someone new.

     "Why should it be you, oppa? My life was so peaceful without you in it," I lied. My life was indeed peaceful but if I were strong enough, I'd risk my peace for you.

     He made me the happiest I could have ever been but I chose him over my own. I was slowly falling and when things started to get bumpy, I knew it was a ride I didn't want to be in. I love him, I want to be with him, now at most times, but I'm not confident enough to stay.

     "Please, tell me you're lying.." there was a crack in his voice as I felt him trembling.

     I looked down as I fight back the tears knowing I couldn't look at him. He always had this power to pull me back into him and I didn't want to regret anything.

     "Oppa, please.." I peel his hands away from me but he bent down and placed my hair behind my ear to see my face clearly. I wasn't able to hold my tears back and I just let them all flow down my cheeks.

     "Look me in the eye and tell me that you want me out of your life,"

     He knelt down and pleaded. His words, his actions, everything was already breaking me. I close my eyes so that I couldn't meet his and feel the my tears fall.

     "Jagi, stop crying. I want to hurt those who hurt you even if it was me," The authoritative tone of his was still there as he wiped my tears away.

     "Why are you making this so hard for me?" I cried back.

     He stood up, held both of my cheeks to make me look at him and see a tear roll down his left eye.

     "It was the hardest for me. Not seeing you, not being able to kiss you, most especially, seeing you with someone and the worst part is that someone is none other than my brother."

     "He's only a friend.." Why did I explain anyway?

     "We started off as friends too. Who knows what that cunning ass has up his sleeves? I'm not letting him do as he pleases with you."

     He kisses my forehead and my cheeks then hugs me tight. I miss this, I miss him. My strong facade was slowly crumbling and cracks in my walls were starting to happen.

     "Nari?"

     I looked up. He inched his face closer and placed a soft kiss on my lips.

     "Please stay with me,"

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