"After a while I was able to get ahold of my breath enough to stop the trembling and sit up. I slowly lifted my hand and placed it on my belly, instinctively checking my baby in the most primitive way. As the anxiety subsided I was able to focus on...
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I welcomed the darkness that surrounded me, allowing myself to sink into it without fighting back. I hoped that embracing the numbness would take away the pain. I had never felt anything like it. It tore me apart, gave me a feeling of being shattered into a thousand little pieces.
But the darkness did not remove the pain. Unconsciousness could not take away the feeling of being crushed entirely. My hope was gone, the point was gone. Not even knowing that the most beautiful thing that could ever exist was growing inside me was enough to bring back my will to live.
The pain quickly annihilated any fighting spirit left in me and I knew that I did not want to be saved from this. Suddenly, all I wanted was to wake up and ask to be killed as quickly as possible. Stop them from trying to cure me. But the darkness was now too heavy for me to push away. I panicked and hoped that they were not saving my life right now. I did not want to live anymore.
How had I reached this point? I tried to recall everything that had happened recently, from the day Anakin returned. It did not even seem like it was my life that I was thinking about. How could I have been so amazingly euphoric just a couple of days ago?
As I sorted through my recollections of the last few days I felt the pain subside a little. Even though they gave me no answers, the memories gave me something to focus on. So I continued, allowing my consciousness to fall backwards into the memories.
