Little Space

drinking relapse

Yoongi stumbled into the apartment, knocking into the counter. He shoved his shoes off and threw his jacket to the floor. He tripped on his way to the couch.

Yoongi had left about an hour or two ago. Maybe longer, he didn't know. He frankly didn't fucking care. There was a bar down the street from their apartment, and Yoongi had made a beeline for it just after he put Jimin down for his nap. He knew how fucked up that was, but he just needed to get away. He had been so fucking stressed.

Once he got liquor, he felt nice. Drunken stupors felt amazing.

Soft footsteps came down the hallway. Yoongi didn't react.

"Daddy?" Jimin asked. The sound of his voice sent a warm feeling through Yoongi's body.

Yoongi stretched on the couch. "Hey, babe," he slurred, his eyes closed and a smile plastered on his face.

"Is Daddy okay?" Jimin asked, coming closer to the older. He looked a bit frightened.

"Daddy's jus' amazing, little one." Yoongi lifted his arms, expecting Jimin to hug him.

Jimin stayed where he was. "Daddy's drunk." He could smell the alcohol. It was like Yoongi had bathed in it.

Yoongi looked at the younger, his head tilted to the side. "What? Nooo. Daddy's not drunk, babe. You're so sillyyy."

Yoongi reached out, presumably to boop his nose, but his arm just dropped. Yoongi winced as his stomach flipped with the movement. His cheeks puffed momentarily before he hiccupped and swallowed.

Jimin looked at him sadly. "Daddy's really drunk." He sighed and set his stuffie down. He moved to the kitchen to grab some water and the bin.

"Minniiiieee," Yoongi whined once he could no longer see his boyfriend. "Come baaaack."

Jimin padded back into the room, a sad look on his usually happy face. He put the water on the table and placed the bin next to the couch. Yoongi held out his hands for him, begging, but Jimin stayed out of reach.

"Jiminie, baby, c'mere with meeee. Snuggle Daddy."

Jimin shook his head with a remorseful look. "No, no, Daddy. You just go to sleep now."

"How'm I gonna sleep without m' bab-ay?" Yoongi sang, reaching out for him again. Jimin wasn't giving in.

Jimin instead went to their room and brought out a teddy bear. He kissed it a few times and handed it to Yoongi. "Sleep with this, Daddy. I'll be here in the morning."

Yoongi cuddled the teddy bear tightly, resting his head against the fur. "Mm'kay. I luh you, Miiin."

"I love you too, Daddy," Jimin replied.

Jimin made his way back to the bedroom slowly. He cuddled his elephant tightly and played with its ears. It was hard to fall asleep with tears choking him up, but he was able to drift off just before it got to be too late.

~

Yoongi woke up suddenly when a wave of nausea washed over him. He promptly leaned over the side of the couch and emptied the contents of his stomach into the bin. He groaned and sat back up, rubbing his face.

Fuck. He didn't remember anything once he got to the bar. He wondered how much he had drank, then settling on the amount being "too damn much". He looked down at his feet. There was one of Jimin's teddy bears on the couch. Fuck. Jimin had to see me like this.

Yoongi stood up and stumbled to the bathroom. He took a cup of mouthwash, swishing it around in his cheeks. He spit the burning liquid out and washed his face though his head was screaming at him to stop. He shuffled to the bedroom in search of Jimin.

Jimin was curled up under the sheets, hugging the elephant to his chest. He seemed to be asleep. Yoongi walked over and got into the bed next to Jimin, throwing his arm over the younger's waist.

Jimin stirred and looked down at the hand on his stomach. He rolled away. Yoongi watched him regretfully.

"Jimin-ah...?" he whispered.

Jimin kept himself turned away from Yoongi. Yoongi closed his eyes tightly, trying to will away the tears.

"Jimin, I'm sorry," his voice broke. "I didn't mean to. I — I wasn't thinking..."

Yoongi watched as Jimin's arm muscles contracted, tightening his grip on the elephant.

Yoongi turned onto his back and stared at the ceiling to prevent his tears. "J-Jimin-ah, I'm sorry."

"It was a year sober, hyung. I was so proud of you... I was planning a party..." Jimin whispered.

Yoongi covered his face with his hands. He let out a quiet sob into his palms. "I know, I know. I fucked up. Please, Jiminie. Let me start over. I can do it this time."

"I know you can, hyung. But you never let yourself." Jimin buried his face into his stuffed animal.

Tears began to pour down Yoongi's face. He was openly crying into his hands. Jimin finally moved closer to him, holding him as he cried. Yoongi turned and sobbed into Jimin's shirt.

"I'm sorry. I'm so sorry." Yoongi sniffled, but kept crying. "I'm so sorry."

Jimin kissed Yoongi's forehead. Yoongi only sobbed harder. When Yoongi cried, he barely let out a sound. His body just jerked violently, tears staining his cheeks. It hurt to watch.

"Shh, hyung. Shh. It's okay. You can do it. I know you can." Jimin rubbed Yoongi's back.

"I'm sorry for letting you down, Jiminie. I'm so sorry." Yoongi gripped Jimin's shirt.

"You didn't let me down, hyung. You're okay. We can start over. We'll work harder this time. Both of us." Jimin pet through his hair.

Yoongi nodded and let himself calm down a little. "I love you so much. I'm sorry."

"I love you too. It's okay. It's okay." Jimin kept running his hands through Yoongi's strawberry pink hair, trying to will away the tears. "Just sleep, hyung. Please. Sleep everything off."

Yoongi nodded and closed his eyes, breathing slower. Jimin kissed away his tears and held him for however long it took for Yoongi to fall asleep.