Double Trouble

chapter 11

" words and hearts should be handled with care for words when spoken and hearts when broken are the hardest thing to repair."

Misas POV
It's that deep rooted feeling that seems to ignite a selection of disorderly and perplexing emotions. That feeling of disappointment and anger. But as well as brokenness and love. Numbness and blankness. Confusion. Just complete chaos.

As I gaped at his presence, all I could think about was the harsh words he expressed in such an abrasive way. Merciless and heartless. The look in his eyes as he expressed his true sentiment towards me, and the situations itself.

" knowing you, the baby probably isn't even mine." How could someone express such disrespect and disgust towards someone who genuinely loves them in every way possible.

He was on his knees. On the pavememt. Tears gliding down his rosy cheeks. The way his body was slumped over. In the most vulnerable and miserable way possible. Then it started to pour rain.

" what are you doing here?" I questioned silently throught gritted teeth. No matter how much I still loved him, I couldn't be weak. I can't fold. Not when he left me, broken, and fertile. Alone with no one.

" Ethan told me..." He said silently. His voice cracked a bit and he was breathing heavy. He got up and walked towards me. He squatted before me and lifted my chin with his hand so I was facing him.

" misa, I'm so sorry." He weeped as he spoke those apologetic words. I looked down from his gaze." for what? Leaving me? Or for causing everyone to bash me?" I inquired as I shrugged my shoulders and scoffed. He sighed then gripped my hands in between his.

"Both. I was wrong, I know that." he admitted in a shamefaced tone. His eyes were bloodshot and swollen and he was flushed from crying.

"Why? Why leave if you knew it was wrong? Why say those things?" I posed aggressivley as I ripped my hands from his grasp and stood up. I gripped my chest and bit my lip to prevent more sobs from bursting out. I had to be strong. I needed to be.

He rose to his feet and came behind me. " the pressure was excruciating. Being a dad at 17! I couldn't handle that!" He said a bit angry and loud.

I whipped around and faced him. "you had pressure? I'm the one who went through with it alone! No one there for me!" I bawled, trying to make clear of my words. " I carried them! But you werent there. Not even when..." And I trailed off. I couldnt even contemplate on the subject without having an anxiety attack and breaking down.

Pause. Silence.

" they?" He whispered. He looked down at me. We locked eye contact for a minute until I looked away. I turned around but he gripped my arm and turned me back around and closer to him. " they?!" He questioned again but with a stricter tone. I nodded.
" twins, gray." I confessed as the tears ran down my face again. He put his hand over his mouth. Then he bit his lip and turned around. He kicked the bench that was near and I flinched.

"You didnt even bother to tell me!" He raised his voice at me. " how could I!?" I yelled back at him.

" I hate you." I said sternly. He looked at me in the eyes deeply. " no." He said. " I hate you!"I yelled at him. " no you don't." He said calmly. " I should hate you! Because you left me when I needed you the most!" I screamed as I cried. " what did you expect me to do huh? I was 17 Misa. I wasnt ready!" He yelled back. "Oh and I was?"I asked and he looked down. " you know I always wondered if you ever loved me..." I spat and he looked up.

"Of course i did! Do you understand that? I did and I still do!" He cried as he inched toward me. I backed up. I squinted as the rain dripped from my hair down into my eyes.

"If you really did, you wouldn't have left..." I said in a whisper, my voice overpowered by heavy rain. I turned around to walk away.

" where do you think you're going?!" He screamed after me. I ignored him. He ran after me and grabbed my arm and yanked me towards him. " let go." I screamed as I ripped my arm free from his grip. " I cant let go. " he said in a calm voice. " I need to see them. Please." He said breathlessly.

The rain started to get heavier and all you could hear is the pitter patter of the drops on the pavement.

" where are they?! I need to meet them!" He said walking in the direction of the dorms. I didnt follow.

"You can't!"I yelled after him and he stopped in his tracks. He looked back at me and walked back over to me aggressively.

" dont you dare say i can't meet my own children!" He yelled in my face. "I'm the father and I have every damn right to see them!" He put his hand in my face and I flinched. This side of him frightened me. And always will. But I'm afraid the side he will express next, because it might be much worse.

"8 months." Is all I said. He gave me a bewildered look and cocked his head to the side. " they slipped away." I spoke in a low and inaudible voice as I looked down at the ground. My eyes stung and my stomach was churning. Just thinking of what happened made me sick.

"Why the fuck didnt you tell me? Call? Hell even a text?!" He yelled in my face. " what was I supposed to say. ' hey remember me, the girl you left while fertile. Just called to say your kids passed away!?" I yelled back at him, more upset than i should of. "I'm sorry." I whispered and he broke down.

He shook his head. " no." He whispered. He exhaled. Tears filled his eyes again. " no. No. NO!" He sobbed out loud. He sobbed and sobbed and sobbed. To the point where he dropped to the ground and held his head in his hands.

" why?! Why?!?!" He yelled out through tears. I stood there, tears running down my face. Watching as he broke down.

I bawled my eyes out and took deep breaths. I knelt down next to him and held him in my arms. He cried in my chest and his body was shaking.

The most traumatic experience I have ever been through, was relived. And I almost gave up then and there with him.

He looked up at me, with tear stained cheeks, as water drops fell from his soaked hair into his eyes and down his face, and gazed in my eyes. Then he flickered them to my stomach. He placed his hands on my belly and started to cry even more. " im sorry! Im so sorry!" He cried and cried....((( " maybe if I would of stayed..." He said with a shaky voice.

I grabbed his face with my hands. I cupped his cheeks and held his face close to mine.

" listen to me okay. This is not your fault. And never will be. Trust me when I say this. You would have been a great father. " I cried. My voice was shaky and I was a mess. "Dont blame yourself okay? Dont!" I repeated.

"It is my-" he cried but I interrupted him by situating my lips against his. Flashbacks paraded in my mind. The way his velvet, and seducing lips interconnected with mine was unimaginable. It felt as if it was our first kiss all over again. The warm feeling that wheezled its way down my body. The shivers that hastened down my spine. The sweet taste of peppermint, just like before. The rain kept pouring, soaking us, but we didnt care.

We had a moment... Of Passion and love....

And I was in love again.

Actually, I never stopped.

Authors note: I'm not really happy how this chapter turned out. I feel like there isnt a lot of tension And feeling in this.

I have been experiencing writers block when writing this part of the story because I felt that it had to be good because it's the turning point if the story.

I might change it a bit later I dont know. But I hope you enjoy.

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Peace✌💜