The Garden Of Larry

Like a real baby.....

(Harry)

I walk into the coffee shop and when I reach the front of the line I order a tea and a coffee. This time I have enough to pay for both drinks but nobody to drink with me. I starts to feel this twist inside my heart that I can't ignore. I quickly pay for both drinks and sit down at the table that Lou and I sat at that day. It's so quiet sitting here alone. A tear lands in my coffee and that's when I realize that I've been crying. I wonder if anyone had noticed. I don't like to cry in public.

************

As I walk along the road to my house I feel like there's just something missing. Someone missing. I reach my house and decide that I'll be going back home. I thank my mum and sister and kiss them both goodbye. I quickly am at the airport and buying a ticket back to London. Hopefully the plan my mum and sister and I made will work or else I'm not sure what else I can do to win Louis back. Once I board the plane I find my seat and look out the window. The plane takes off and I find myself thinking back to the first moments with Anthony while looking out the window.

Flashback

"We should have a baby." I spit my coffee all over the kitchen table.

"Like a real baby?"

"Of course a real baby. Don't you want children?"

"Well, of course I want children one day, but now?" He scooted his chair closer to mine and looked me right in the eye.

"Let's have a baby then." I agreed and that was it.

We were on our way to a specialty doctor to find out how we were going to make it happen. We were going through all the different ways and steps that we could do to make this happen. The first option we tried was in a dish like thing. That was supposed to work but didn't.

"There's no need to give up! We can make this work." I never stopped telling Lou that ever.

"If you say so then let's try again."

We then tried adoption. We filled out paper work and awaited the agency's call. When we finally received a call we were told that nobody wanted to give up their child to a gay couple and that we should seek help elsewhere. Louis and I were both crushed but Louis was more crushed.

"I thought the point of adoption was so that those children could be placed in a home where they would be loved and well looked after?" He began sobbing.

"I know, baby, I know." I comforted him and reassured him that we'd get our baby whatever way we could.

He was very unsure about it but I told him that it would really work. We just needed to continue to have faith and then we'd get a baby soon. So we tried a new experimental way. The theory was with a little of both of us and a lot of science, that it was possible to create a baby. Unfortunately, that was not the case. We spent millions of dollars and it didn't even work.

"I give up! I don't think we'll ever have a baby." Louis cried.

"We will, my love, don't worry."

"Nobody wants a gay couple to have a family. Why is the world so cruel and unaccepting?" I rubbed his back comfortably.

"There is still one more option out there, baby." He looked up at me and there were tears in his eyes.

"I give up, though. What's the point of trying and trying if it's never going to work out anyways?"

"We can still try a surrogate." He shook his head.

"No, Harry. No more trying. You never really wanted this baby anyways." He got off my lap and sadly left the room.

I sat on that sofa in our living room and thought for a long while. There had to be some way to have the family we both wanted and I was going to stop at nothing to find it.

"Does that make sense to you, Mr. Stylinson?" Lou looked up confused.

"I'm sorry, what?"

"We understand, don't worry." I patted his knee and gave him a hopeful smile.

"Yeah, we understand." He said but I still think he was a bit dazed.

"Then it's settled. The agency will give you both a call if anything comes up. We have your guys' resumes and we'll make sure to find you two a baby."

We both nodded politely and left the office building. As soon as we got into the car I explained everything that was said in that office to Louis.

"So all we have to do is wait and we'll get a baby?" He said with excitement.

"Only if someone picks us, love." He frowned.

"I guess we're not going to have a baby then." He muttered but I heard him.

It was only a few months later when we got the call.

"Yes, this is he. Uh-huh. Yes. I understand. Uh-huh. Thank you so much! Yes, I'll tell him right away. Thank you again. Yes. Of course." Lou kept looking at me confused. He's so cute when he's confused.

"Was that the landlord again? I swear he's going to get an earful if he keeps complaining about the noise."

"It's not the landlord." I bit my lip in excitement.

"My mum's coming into town!?" He got excited.

"No, love. That was the agency." He practically tripped over his feet trying to run into my arms. He held on tight to me.

"We're going to have a baby!?" I nodded my head fast.

"WE'RE HAVING A BABY!" We were both excited.

"SHUT UP!" Our landlord yelled from upstairs. We just giggled. We were far too happy to care what that old grump had to say.

End of flashback

My plane lands onto the familiar ground. The ground that I now call home. I received my luggage and caught a cab back home. Awkwardly, the cab arrived at Lou's and my house. I must have told the cab driver the wrong address out of habit. I apologized and decided to walk the rest of the way to my actual home.

I stepped into the condo and it smelled like lavender. Lavender? Why the hell does my house smell like lavender? I had grown to hate that smell. I place my luggage by the sofa in my living room and walk into my kitchen. What I saw next was of complete surprise to me.

"What are you doing here, Anna?"

"Harry, I miss you and I'm lonely. Why don't we get back together?" I shook my head.

"You broke up my marriage, Anna. I want nothing to do with you." She was angry at my rejection but it had to be done.

"You'll regret this, Harry. Call me when you're ready for me." Then she left my condo. I can't believe she'd try and get me back.