The Garden Of Larry

Only had four or five.....

(Harry)

I woke up to a knock on my condo door. Nobody even cares about me anymore and I don't know anyone, so who'd be knocking at this hour? Nobody even knows where I live? I slide out of bed and quickly slip on a robe. I'm not answering the door naked again. Last time I did that, I'm pretty sure I scarred a kid for life. It was a neighbor welcoming me to the condo neighborhood but they brought their child. I honestly forgot that I wasn't wearing anything. I'm used to being dressed because of Anthony.

When I answered the door, it was Kate.

"Kate, how did you find out where I live?"

"I figured that you'd need a new place after the whole separation thing and these are really the only places available. I did have to search each condo door until I found this one."

"Okay. How did you know about the separation?"

"Niall and I broke up, but we still talk. Sometimes that's a good thing and sometimes it's not." She half-mumbled that last sentence.

"Still. Why are you here?"

"Tonight is my New Year's party. I thought I would remind you to come. I know that Louis' busy, but I figured that you'd be free."

"Are you assuming that I'm not seeing someone or something?"

"Harry, you love Louis too much. If you can help it, you won't be seeing anyone but Louis."

"Well, I don't really feel like going out anywhere tonight. I was just going to stay home and watch the New Year's Eve movie and probably get drunk."

"Drunk? That's not like you, Harberry."

"It's what I do now."

"Well, come to my party and get drunk then."

"Fine, but I'll need a date then."

"Spectacular! I'll see you tonight then." She kissed my cheek and left happily.

************

Kate has this spectacular New Year's party every year and this year I am here alone. Usually Niall watches Anthony while Lou and I came but this year I'm no longer with Louis. I decided that I should atleast try to find a date to this thing but that wasn't very easy. My date is shorter than me and she has brown wavy hair and blue eyes. She kind of reminds me of someone but I can't quite remember who it is. I'm on my fourth or fifth drink now though so maybe that's why. My dates name is Louise or something. I don't really remember. Actually, come to think of it, I don't think I really remember much about how I even got here.

I stumble over to the snacks and find Kate talking to someone that I barely recognize. Oh, never mind. It's my date Lucy. Was that her name? I don't remember. Did I ever even know? Kate is laughing about something now and I think maybe I was the one who made the joke. Or maybe it was Laura? I decide to laugh along just in case it wasn't my joke. Lorraine whispers something dirty in my ear but I don't know what she's saying. I think she giggled, but I don't really know that much about Lindsey anyways. She walks away and I think I'm supposed to come, but I think I'm being called over to the drinks area.

"Haz, I think you need to slow your roll with all those drinks."

"I've only had four or five."

"Yes, but you're looking a little out of it. Maybe you should just lay off the drinks and go see what Louise wanted. She's in the other room."

"He's here? Louis' in the other room?!" I couldn't hide my excitement.

I ran into the other room to find Louis waiting in a room for me. He was so beautiful and he was saying something but I couldn't make out the words. All I knew was that I loved him and that I wasn't going to let him slip away again.

I woke up in a stranger's bed. Beside me was an unfamiliar girl. She had brown wavy hair and blue eyes. She was much shorter than me and she was indeed undressed under the covers. I thought that I spent the night with Louis? I thought for sure he was here last night and forgave me and we had slept together. Who the hell did I sleep with last night? I looked to my side and the girl stirred a bit in her sleep. I gently woke her up and she looked at me with sleepy eyes after a quick stretch. I wanted to know who this girl was and why she woke up in bed with me.

"I'm sorry if this sounds rude, love, but do I know you?" That definitely came out as rude by the look of hurt on her face.

"I'm Louise. You invited me to that party last night as your date. You really don't remember me?"

"I drank way too much last night, Louise. I'm sorry but I don't remember much of last night."

"I told you to meet me here, you came, and we slept together. I'd think you'd remember since it was such a passionate night that we shared."

"It definitely was. I'm sorry that I don't remember how we got here but thank you for a wonderful night. Sorry to cut this short, but I really must go now."

I ran out of that room with only my boxer briefs and an unbuttoned shirt. The only reason for last night being so passion-filled was because I thought she was someone else. I don't even know why I would ever think Louis would sleep with me. After telling me how uncomfortable he was with the whole thing, I don't see him changing his mind anytime soon. I still can't believe I spent the night with a Louis-look-alike. I guess I'm not really able to move on as I'd like to try to. I'll never truly love anyone the way I love Louis.

When I got home I crashed onto my bed face-first. I screamed into the sheets. I feel like such a fool after last night's events. Am I that delusional to think Louis would ever even look at me again? I don't even look at myself in the mirror anymore. I laid there like that for atleast thirty minutes or so. I'm not exactly sure, because I wasn't timing myself, but it was fairly long.

I spent the rest of the day feeling completely disgusted with myself. I hate myself. I hate myself so much. What's even the point of anything anymore? I'm a terrible person anyways. Now I hurt yet another person. I'm broken.