The Garden Of Larry

If he could only hear my heart beating for him.....

(Harry)

I'm pretty sure it was an accident. I really am. But staring at my computer screen and reading the invitation over and over again makes me really confused. I can't believe Louis' getting married. Colton and Louis are getting married and that means that I officially lost Louis for good. I never realized that this could happen. But now it has and I am speechless.

Honestly, why did I receive an invitation? It's like he's trying to rub it in my face or something. I know what I did was wrong. I just can't believe that I've really lost him. Colton looks so much younger too. I guess Lou has a thing for younger guys. Or maybe Colton fears he'll be deported and needs a quick marriage?

That would mean that I'd still technically have a chance. There's even the possibility that Colton committed a crime and only Louis knows and if they get married he has a legal right to not say anything about the crime? I really need to stop watching crime shows. I don't want to lose my Louis! He's mine and I never gave up hope to be with him. Well, I kind of did, but not completely. I just put my hope on pause.

I wonder how Anthony will react to this. Have they told him? Maybe he's happy that he doesn't have to have such a terrible father like me anymore. Perhaps he's forgotten all about me? No. He couldn't have. I understood Anthony better than anyone. Even Louis himself and Anthony is biologically his.

I remember whenever Anthony had a problem he would always come to me first. If I wasn't sure what to do or say then, and only then, he would go to Louis for help. He was my little soldier. Always sticking up for Lou and I in public when people would insult us about our relationship. He didn't know why they were rude to us, but he did know that it was wrong to treat others rudely.

Flashback

"Dad!" Anthony rushed over to me with tears in his eyes.

"Sweetheart, what's wrong?" I wiped a few tears away.

"Somebody told me today that their mummy said that I was going to be weird when I grow up because I have two daddies."

"Well, that's not true and that's very rude."

"Should I kick them into next week?"

"Do you even know what that means?"

"No, but Daddy said that he was going to."

"Anthony, the thing is, when someone does hurtful things to you, or says something mean about or to someone you love, you can't be mean back."

"Why not? Daddy says that-"

"How would you feel if someone hurt you?"

"I wouldn't feel very good but Daddy could-"

"If you go around hurting people when they hurt you, then they'll keep hurting you. You have to talk and treat others the way you want to be treated."

"But Daddy said that when someone is bad and you do something nice for them, that then you're rerording them for bad behaver?"

"Well, Daddy's right. But if you want others to be nice to you, then you also have to be nice to them too. When someone is mean to you and you are nice to them, they notice that and then next time they want to be mean to you, they remember that you were nice to them. Being nice to others can be rewarding, but it's a different kind of reward. It's the kind that should always be shared with everyone. The more nice things you say and do for people, the nicer the world becomes and the happier we'll all be. I'm not saying that you have to be happy when people hurt you, but don't be mean back. If someone told you that you're weird, try to show that you don't mind. Say thank you, or I know I am and that's okay. Whatever you want to say, but don't be mean back. It's like they say, 'two wrongs don't make a right'. If someone stole something, would you steal it too because you saw that they did?"