The Garden Of Larry

Hi, I'm Harry, and I have a problem with alcohol.....

Previously on The Garden Of Larry.....

"The reason I knew you were married is because I knew about Louis." I was shocked. I never once mentioned Louis to her. How did she know Louis?

"How do you know Louis?"

"When I met you, I was only hoping you could introduce me to Louis." So I was being used the entire time. Wow. How nice.

"You were only using me to get to Louis?" I was half hurt and half pissed.

"I only was going to ask you to introduce us. I never meant to fall for you the way I did. Harry, my feelings for you were real; are real. The thing is, I'm Louis' half-sister. I wanted to meet him and I knew you would know where I could find him." I was utterly shocked. The thing is, I'm Louis' half-sister.

(Harry)

I had no time to respond to what she said. I opened my mouth to say something and I heard a loud obnoxious person very much upset with me. How did Liam even find me here? He walked up to our table and crossed his arms over his chest while tapping his foot in annoyance. Which is completely odd to me, because I find him rather annoying to be honest. He looked at me like I was supposed to explain myself. I honestly wasn't quite sure what to say.

"You said that you were going to rehab and getting better. I cannot believe that I actually fell for that." I can; you're stupid AF.

"Did you honestly believe that I was sitting in an F'ing circle and telling a bunch of damn strangers my F'ing problems?"

"You don't need to swear at me! I am only upset because I thought it had gotten through to you! You need help and here I find you not only with a bottle of beer, which is alcohol in case you didn't know, but I find you with the devil concocting some sort of scheme."

"I am merely conversing with Louis' half-sister to find out why she knew that I was married when we met. Which is of course, because she is Louis' half-sister." He blinked a few times.

"Well, that's big news. Are you going to tell Louis?"

"Absolutely not. I'll tell her where he lives and let her tell him herself."

************

I told Anna where Louis lived and left with Liam to rehab. Apparently he doesn't trust me to go alone so he must accompany me every damn day. I'm not excited to be going to rehab and am certainly not excited that Liam is coming with me. Now I actually have to go to rehab. I'm not broken or something. I just need my Louis back is all. And one day I just might get him back.

We gathered around a stupid circle and the whole circle went one by one announcing their problem. Drugs, alcohol, self-harm, suicidal thoughts. There were lots and lots of people with terrible problems. Even though I had an alcohol problem like some of the others do, I felt as though I didn't have as bad of a problem. I felt out of place and frankly, a bit self-conscious about being in rehab in general. Maybe Li was right? Maybe my problem can be helped with a little rehab.

"Now remember guys, this group is a safe place to discuss our problems and seek help. No one can repeat any of what we share here to anyone outside of the group. If you feel like sharing your own problem or problems with your friends or family you can feel free to do so. Just don't share anyone else' personal problems with anyone." I didn't plan on repeating anything to anyone. Only Liam can know that I came here.

He looked at me and I prepared to announce my problem in front of a bunch of strangers. Just like the first time, but actually say it out loud.

"Hi, I'm Harry, and I have a problem with alcohol." Everyone greeted me like I was really a part of something. I truly felt like they all had my back even if I didn't know any of them yet.

Even though Liam forced me to be here today, I really feel much better after getting that off my chest. I feel like this huge weight has been lifted off my shoulders. Like I can finally move on and fix my problem once and for all.

I decided to write perhaps my very last journal letter to Louis. I got out my notebook and a pen and curled up on my bed with a cup of Louis' favorite tea on my bedside table.

Dear Louis, my love, my one and only, keeper of my heart,

I have missed you every single day since our separation. Every single hour we've been apart. Each minute and moment and missed opportunity we've had even though you didn't know. I have pondered over you for so long to the point of breaking and I've not been taking care of myself. I'm unhealthy, unhappy, and unsatisfied with anything I do. I know that these are negative thoughts, and feelings, but unfortunately they're all I have. You were the positivity in my life and now I don't even have you. The hope of one day reuniting and forgiving all of the past mistakes were what kept me going. Now, I am going to rehab. At first I didn't think it'd help, but now I see that it was what I needed for a long time. The people there are really supportive. I needed that. Once you and I separated I lost everyone. They all sided with you and I had no one. I know what I did was wrong, but I still need someone to understand me and help me to not make any further mistakes like that one again.

I thought that by writing to you, I might find some sort of closure, but it's not really helping that way. I mean, sure, it feels nice to get everything off my chest and write it all down, but the only difference with this compared to writing in a journal or diary is the person it's addressed to. Instead of 'Dear Diary', it's 'Dear Louis'. It's not that different and is even pronounced similarly. I guess what I'm trying to say is, unless I send you these letters, it won't make any difference in my life. You're getting married, I'm trying to move on, and this whole letter-writing thing we have going on here, isn't changing any of though. I just wanted to let you know that I never gave up on us and still fight for us every single day. You may have moved and are happy, but I will always be here if you need me. I love you and always will, Louis.

All the love,

Harry xxxxx

I folded the letter and placed it with the others. All of them were in a box under my bed. Nobody knew of them as far as I know and I was happy about that. Nobody needed to know and I intended on keeping them a secret. Nobody must find out about these letters. Especially not Louis. Louis must never know.

A/N Hey guys! The book is almost done and I'm so excited for that! If you guys have any questions that weren't answered in this book, the original book, or even the third book, then please feel free to message about it or leave a comment. Thank you all who read/are reading this book series thing.