The Garden Of Larry

I'm too depressed to speak.....

(Harry)

I was making a huge mess of the bathroom because of my drinking last night. Liam was trying to get me to calm down and I was worried that he might until the doorbell went off. Maybe it's the cops? It was nothing. I honestly was trying to help that girl up after I accidentally bumped into her on the way home last night. I wasn't going to hurt her. I guess my drunken appearance scared her enough to scream bloody murder. Liam left to answer the door.

"Is there something I can help you with, Niall?" I could just barely hear him ask from the bathroom.

"I was just wondering if Harry was home." Who was there?

"He is. He's in the bathroom and he's an F-ing mess." Jerk.

"I can help with that." Nobody but Louis can help me now.

"If you think you can help; be my guest." Your guest? This is my condo.

He lead the person into the bathroom where I was completely naked and soaked in urine.

"Harry, it's Niall. He's here to talk to you." I felt very exposed. I didn't turn around to face them.

"I don't want to talk to anyone. I'm too depressed to speak." They didn't understand just how depressed I was.

"I have good news though." I looked at Niall with an empty expression.

"What could you tell me that would be good news?"

"Louis' back and so is Anthony." I almost immediately regained my color.

"They're-they're back? How? When?"

"They just got back yesterday." He said and I could feel that my empty expression was starting to fade.

"I'm going to have a shower. Li, help me shower?"

"Sure." He sighed; clearly annoyed but he's used to it.

"I'm just going to go now."

"Hey, Niall?"

"Yeah, Harry?"

"Thanks for letting me know that they're back."

"Of course, Harry. You just get yourself cleaned up." Then he left.

************

"So, what are you going to do now?"

"I'm probably going to try and win him back."

"Isn't he serious with someone else?"

"Leeyum, you're so clueless. Louis loves me, I just have to remind him."

"Hazzy, mate, maybe you should let him move on but atleast talk to him so you can get some closure?"

"Are you F'ing insane? I'm not giving Louis away!"

"What do you mean by that? I never said that-"

"Liam, if I let Louis go, then I'm basically giving him away." I sigh sadly.

"Harry, you have to let him go eventually. It's unhealthy to keep living like this. I'm starting to worry about you." He looked at me softly.

He doesn't understand. If I let Louis go, then I'm giving him away. If I give him away, then I'll be all alone. If I'm all alone, then I'll get lonely. If I get lonely, then I might do something I can't take back.

"Harry? Haz? Hazza? Hazzy, mate? Are you still on this planet?" I snapped out of my daze.

"What were you saying, Liam?"

"You keep going in and out of dazes. Are you feeling alright?"

No, Liam. The love of my life is slipping away from me. Slipping through my finger tips.

"Yeah, I'm fine. Just tired from all the drinking last night."

"I hear you." I don't think he bought it.

"I did end up going to bed by 5 or something."

"You should take a nice long nap and I'll make us dinner later."

"Alright, Liam, thanks." Then he left the bathroom. I went upstairs to my room.

Just great. Not only am I depressed as hell, but Liam said he's going to poison us tonight and I finally admitted out loud that I'm depressed and nobody took me seriously. They shrugged the word away as if it were nothing. I'm depressed and nobody knows. Worst thing is, I told them. Now Liam's going to kill us tonight and the truth is, I actually wouldn't mind that.

I crawled into my bed and snuggled under the covers. Why can't I just go to sleep, dream of Louis and I happy together in a realistic dream that is endless, and just never wake up ever again.

'Your love isn't good enough, Harry.....' Maybe drunk Louis is right.