In The World Looking For Love

Chapter 6

A/N: You play the song while you read to set the mood for how the character is feeling
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We got back to the house to start packing but I just stayed outside and enjoyed the weather and even cried because I would never be able to come back unit l I get older. After 30 minutes sissy called me into the house to pack my stuff, when I got done, I ate and went to sleep.

At 6:30am we got up, got dressed and left. Isn't remember much about the train ride, I know that when we got on, it wasn't like when me and my dad got on, not at all, this train was more crowded, stinky and the seats were more squished together. I remember getting out the car in Compton and running into the living at my grandma's house and hugging her so tight and telling her how much I missed and loved her, she looked at me, and said she loved and missed me too, then I ran to my dad who was by the kitchen putting the dishes away. I ran to and hugged him, he then picked me up, gave me the biggest bear hug I ever had, I started to cry because I missed him so much, he said "hey stop all that crying boo-bear, why are you crying?", I looked down because I couldn't look him in the eye and lie. he put his index finger under my chin and asked me again. I looked at my dad's light brown eyes with my similar watered light brown eyes and decided to tell him three part of the reason I was crying because I knew he would find out through my eyes that I was lying, I said to him, " daddy I'm crying because I missed you And you left me there by myself", his face Had turned from concerned to guilt really fast and I immediately said but now I'm crying because I am happy and he smiled and laughed his deep chipmunk laugh that always made me laugh. after he put me down we walk into the living room and seen my aunt with my grandma and some other people. I was seven years old at this point, so I can see the nurse talking to my grandma in a rude way and nobody was paying attention so I walk over with my dad hand in mines so he could pay attention to what was going on and I interrupted the nurse by giving my grandma a hug, I heard my dad and aunt telling the nurse not to talk to her that way and some other things, I directed my attention back to my grandma. I took her face in my hands as she was sitting on the plastic covered love seat looking toward where my grandfather used to sit at and eat watermelon with his v8 tomato juice when he was alive a month ago, I said " mama?" she then looked at me and said "hmm?", I saw either sadness or emptiness or maybe both behind the act of everything being ok, I said " I am going to become a RN so that way I can take care of you, buy you a big house with a lot of cars. My grandmother rustled up all the happiness she had left just to look at me, smile, and say 'I know you will baby', then I gave her the tightest hug I could at my age. A little while later, I called my mom to let her know I was back out here. Now my mother is a little weird and angry but I love her so Im going to make this part of the story a little short. I was on the phone and she said 'hello?, I said 'hey mom!', I was a little nervous talking to her because I know how her attitude gets, so I sat on the floor by the television and took a deep breathe to prepare myself for the conversation. she said " Amy? " , I said " yes mom its me, I am home now, well back at my mamma grandma house and I just wanted to tell you", she replied "oh good, im glad do you want to come home?", now when she asked that question my mind went to work, because my mother spoke with double meaning all the time so I asked her "to visit?", she said " yea, don't you miss your sister and your brother?". so i thought about it. knowing my my mom she it was a possibility that i wont come back but it being my mother, I had to believe her, that's what all children do, believe the people who brought them into the world. i said " ok mom I will come and visit for a little bit" she told me my cousin was going to come get me, I hung up the phone and told my dad and he said " well boo-bear is that what you want to do because you know how your mom is?", I said "yea, its just for a little bit though please?". He agreed. this is one of the worse memories in my entire life and I will never forget do semi-hate myself and my mother for this situation. I ran to my grandmother, gave her a hug and whispered in her ear " i love you mamma, I will be back, I promise ok?", she hugged me back and she smiled and I gave her a kiss on the cheek, and walked toward the black screen door and looked back at her and at that moment I knew that I was making a mistake but I still left out that door.